It really is a dog's life

1946-2010

2010-01-06T17:45:00.000-08:00

Just over two years ago I went with my dad and my mom to visit her oncologist at Swedish Medical Center. We were informed that her breast cancer had metastasized to her brain. Although her doctor is not one to throw time frames about it took very little research for my sister and I to both discover that 6-24 months was the life expectancy after such a diagnosis. It was a very early diagnosis though, so we were all comparatively hopeful as she went into treatment.

In March of 2009 mom really only had one last treatment option available. It was not even an attempt to kill the cancer, just to stave off the inevitable. After some lengthy indecision mom opted for the cyber-knife treatment.
It got her eight months;
three really good months,
two pretty good months,
one so-so month,
one not too good month,
and one really rough month.
My mom died on Sunday. For just over the last month of her life she was bed-bound. For the last two to three weeks she was not able to speak expressively. On the 17th of December was the last time she really said anything meaningful to me.
I was getting ready to leave and was giving her a hug goodbye.
She leaned her head on me and said,
“Love you, baby, see ya.”
When I returned just a few days later she wasn’t able to speak expressively but she was making sense of what we said to her and answering simple questions.

Taking care of her was a two person job by the end of November so my sister or I were there with my dad to assist him. My daddy is one of the best men in the whole world. He took amazing care of mom.

Mom, shockingly, was not in severe pain from headaches. The hospice nurses were continually amazed by that. She had some aches and pains but nothing like the debilitating headaches that were anticipated. Mom credited all the prayers offered for her by family and friends.

Sunday morning mom’s breathing was ragged and we worked on getting her comfortable with some phone coaching from hospice. We finally got her resting comfortably and went to sit down and regroup. Just a few minutes later dad went in to check on mom and found she had passed away.

Despite knowing this was coming for two years, and knowing it was close, it still somehow arrived with shocking swiftness. I thought we’d know. I thought we would be holding her hand and sitting with her. We just thought we were getting her comfortable for a rest time, not the last time.
I’m glad her ordeal is over,
but I really, really miss my mommy.

Happy New Year

2009-12-31T22:30:00.000-08:00

I understand the New Year looks brighter with some bubbly in hand.

I've got MINE!!

Mia famiglia

2009-12-28T03:42:00.000-08:00

in the scarves I done did made fer 'em.
How festive is that, hmm?

Merry Christmas to you

2009-12-21T13:54:00.000-08:00

This is one of my favorite Christmas songs.
I think I prefer the original version by Jona Lewie but here on the local radio station we hear this version.

Stop the Cavalry

Here is their little history of the tune.

Life is full of challenges.

2009-12-13T12:13:00.000-08:00

www.despair.com

Highly pervertatious

2009-12-07T18:11:00.000-08:00

~ descriptor applied to Mr. Logo by Thing One.

Looks like we have another logophile in the house!

I am watching many Christmas movies

2009-12-02T15:40:00.000-08:00

in an attempt to feel holiday-ish.

I was in a store that was playing horrific Christmas music and it was so painful it made me wish I was Muslim.

In fact, I sort of felt the same way about that music that I have always felt about the Islamic call to prayer,
"I'm glad they think they are doing that for a good reason, because otherwise it would just be cruel and unusual punishment."

Yeaaaah, so um, bah humbug to all, and to all a good night
:p

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-25T17:51:00.000-08:00

Last night

2009-11-20T09:28:00.000-08:00

I watched the Pirates of Penzance on Hulu; I do so love the Hulu.
My 13 year old Thing showed the requite levels of disdain and disinterest.
Then...
he sat down and watched it with me, most of it anyway.

I'm very carefully not gloating or anything where he can see it.

But can I just secretly tell you all here, I LOVE that he was getting the tongue in cheek-ness of it, and enjoying it, at least a little.

:D

Oh, the horror!

2009-11-17T23:13:00.000-08:00

I recently overheard a conversation that filled me with a creeping dread. It was a chilling glimpse into a possible future and that grotesque reality lurks in murky shade casting a faint but threatening shadow. Several of my friends are a bit older than me, not elderly mind you, but some of them have already hit 50, a couple celebrated it this year, and a few are closing on it fast. As I have not yet hit 40 I occasionally hear whipper-snapper jokes, but mostly I blend right in.
I blame that my ancestors,
a little melanin would have helped, hello!
ANYWAY, we were sitting around drinking coffee and discussing our contempt for the lack of women's right in mainland China (or maybe it was the current sale price of winter squash at the local market, I can't quite recall just this minute, but as I was saying...) somehow, while I was drifting away in a moment of deep personal reflection, the topic turned and suddenly there, at the same table I was occupying, women were discussing issues related to menopause.
Now, that in and of itself is hardly cause for alarm you may be thinking, and I would mostly agree
BUT
it was something far more disturbing than mere discussions of heat flashes, irregular periods, lack of vaginal lubrication, and extreme mood swings, no no, those are charted waters.
Instead, one of these women, of Hungarian descent (I'm hoping this is relevant), was sharing that she occasionally had a stray thick, black hair grow randomly from the area around her areola. Some of the women around the table began to chime in, adding details, sharing their own hair horror stories. The comparatively small sample of women at the table leads me to believe this is not a rare phenomenon, though it is not universal, it seems.
I pray to all that is holy that my fair skinned genetic heritage will protect me from such a fate in a way that it has NEVER protected me from sun burns.
If my prayers are answered I will never again complain about my lack of pigment, I will regard it as a better than even deal in exchange for having missed out on yeti nips.
Also?
Someone is getting Nair for Christmas, gaaaaah (shudder).

A crystal ball for grammar geeks

2009-11-14T16:25:00.000-08:00

Love it!

I am the captain of your fate

2009-11-12T10:01:00.000-08:00

(I apologize in advance for this somewhat politically based rant. I just can't help myself).
The results are in for the mid-term elections.

Nearly half the registered voters in my state chose not to participate in the process, and just as a throw-away fact, the percentage of eligible adults who choose not to register is about 20% nationwide.
So less than half of the people in this state made decisions for all the rest.
The two measures that were the most hotly contested here passed or failed by just barely over 50%. So 1/4 of the people in this state made decisions that everyone is going to have to live with.

I firmly believe that only people who vote have the right to opine regarding matters political. It has nothing to do with the right to free speech, only the right to be listened to. But that is not the worst of it, not by a long shot.

I, and my fellow registered, active voters, make your decisions for you. I will choose your taxes, I will choose your representatives, and I will chose your president.

Think your taxes are too high now? Just wait till I get all the support I want for the library system.

Want more gay right? Or less? Yah, well, we will decide that for you.

This country is becoming an oligarchy, an oligarchy of the willing. The ideological extremes are carrying the day because it seems only extremist can generate the effort to exercise their basic rights as Americans.

Tired of hearing about the extreme right and the extreme left? Then get off your ass.

Until you do, we, the ruling elite, invite you to sit back and enjoy our decisions on your behalf.

A trip to eastern WA...

2009-11-10T10:07:00.000-08:00

always reminds me of how glad I am to live on this side of the mountains.

I'm going to Spokane! & 55

2009-11-06T07:17:00.000-08:00

I shall visit my Esteemed Elder sister,
I shall attend a friend's birthday party,
I shall eat at Sonic,
I shall have no responsibilities and shall enjoy myself immensely.

Be good while I'm gone and make sure you clean up after yourselves.
:p

Oh, and here is a 55 word Flash Fiction.

He glared at the screen, eyes and cheeks darkening as frustration bloomed into anger. Fingers abandoned attempts to input keystrokes and instead clawed through hair while a deep sigh passed his lips which almost sounded like a growl.
There were no theatrical pyrotechnics involved but he certain this computer would be the death of him.

Guy Fawkes Day, and other interesting November phenomenon

2009-11-01T15:25:00.000-08:00

Remember, remember the 5th of November
with gunpowder, treason and plot.

My mother, having English roots, would tell us of the rollicking good times they had as children when every November 5th they would make an effigy of Guy Fawkes and pull it 'round the village in a wagon getting candies and small change for their efforts. That night all the effigies would be burned in a bonfire. Festive, no?

As American children it was, for us, significant only because mom would give us candy, quote the above lines, and try to ensure we knew that even Euromutt whities can have obscure cultural traditions. Yeah, it was really about the candy for us.

My parent's particular brand of extremely conservative Baptist faith banned ritual satanic celebrations, or even a light-hearted acceptance that candy and costumes on October 31st is probably not that big a deal regardless of some people's neurotic suspicions that it's all just a plot to trick every child in America into worshipping the devil. So since we missed out on the high holy day of childhood candy worship getting some loot on November 5th served as a consolation prize.

As an adult, in fact, the year I got married, November began to make itself unique in another way.
In various yers, in the month of November;
my husband's grampa, who mostly raised him, died.
I was hit by a car while walking across a street.
we received notification that the insurance company of the people who hit me was suing me for the damage my BODY did to their car (the lawsuit was dropped, btw).
Mr. Logo lost a very dear friend.
My gramma died.
My mom was diagnosed with brain tumors from metastasized breast cancer.
My grampa died.

This last week I was at my parent's house for several days and the steady decline in my mom's health makes me think we are probably about to have another rotten November.

On the plus side,
we are totally having a candy-fest on the 5th.

It's time for...

2009-10-30T05:20:00.000-07:00

Cap'n Morgan and I to start making sweet, sweet love.
Apple cider with cinnamon, orange peel, and clover with a splash of Cap'n Morgan is just what a fall evening needs, or a fall afternoon, or maybe even sometimes a fall morning.

Yes, that is right, baby, it's barely 5 am and I just said I want a drink, that is just how awesome this day is going already.

What that blue thing turned out to be, aaaaaaaand...

2009-10-24T21:37:00.000-07:00

Here is Thing Two modelling his mommy-made creation,
but then Thing One felt left out so now I am making him a scarf.

Oh dear...

2009-10-19T19:13:00.000-07:00

Look what I've started doing.

Rather embarassing, isn't it?

One advantage...

2009-10-15T21:37:00.000-07:00

to having an unemployed husband is that he is available more often for domestic chores.
Yay!

Homeschool has its advantages.

2009-10-12T08:12:00.000-07:00

A while back Thing One had a writing assignment. He was supposed to imagine himself as a fictional character and write something that person would have written.
I'm sure a diary entry from Oliver Twist was the sort of thing they had in mind,
but
in the hands of Thing One and I it ended up like this...

Megatron's To Do list:

Hack US mainframe
Check Craigslist for cute robogal
Rent warehouse with hip pad potential
Schedule an oil change
Pick up local paper, check want ads
Make reward poster for Frenzy
Find a postcard for mom
Signal Decepticons in space
Schedule therapy session
Finish deposition for court case re. dam destruction
File civil suit against the autobots for severe emotional trauma
Contact seamstress about a cozy winter jacket
Contact Cobra about possible alliance
Get passport photo

So, just to clarify...

2009-10-09T20:39:00.000-07:00

not only am I my brother's keeper.

I am also my sister's keeper,

my father's keeper,

my mother's assistant keeper,

my husband's keeper,

my sons' keeper,

and a housekeeper as well?

I need a vacation.

I've been at it again!

2009-10-06T11:36:00.001-07:00

I really like sushi.

I mean, don't get me wrong, there is nothing like a big ol' steak or a juicy hamburger from time to time but sushi sings to my soul too.

So I decided to learn to make some for myself.

I borrowed my pal's sushi rolling mat, did some research and then pondered.

The pondering portion of this activity was extensive. Today, finally, I had all the ingredients I wanted, the time, and the inclination.

So I made...

California rolls with carrot, avocado, cucumber, and smoked salmon.

The smoked salmon made it more attractive to Thing One.

It could probably be prettier, but it was pretty tasty.

The salmon was smoked by Mr. Logo, the rice cooker did most of the work on that, so all I really had to do was chop up some carrots, cukes, avocado and roll it into the nori.

The mess makes it seem like a more impressive undertaking though, doesn't it?

Here is a little plate ready to go to my friend when I return her sushi mat.

It was nummy and I made it all by myself!

Uplifting Children's Author and musician

2009-10-03T21:29:00.000-07:00

Daniel Handler, AKA Lemony Snicket, released this song with The Gothic Archies for his book, The Hostile Hospital.

Smile, no one cares how you feel.
Be vicious, vain, and vile.
Everything's yours to steal if you just smile.
Have you no dignity?
Have you no sense of style?
You'll never be pretty until you smile.

Smile, no one cares how you feel.
There's a world to be got.
You can make this world kneel
If you'll just smile.

Always the best disguise;
A license to defile.
Everyone you despise will die,
so smile.

2009-10-02T08:10:00.000-07:00

I am loving the Writer's Almanac.

Today's feature is a poem by e.e.cummings which I believe I have posted before because it another of my FAVORITES. Yah, yah, I have a lot of favorite poetry, I know.

I carry your heart with me
by E. E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go, my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)

I'm off to Seattle to take my Things and a friend to the Science Center.
We are doing another member's preview of an exhibit before it opens to the public.
This exhibit is sooooo cool.
Science AND art, what more can you ask for, hmm?

Sssssmokin'

2009-09-29T10:40:00.000-07:00

Mr. Logo has been fishing a fair bit lately, ya know, what with the being unemployed and all.
The local river has been running pinks (humpies) and the silvers (Coho) are starting now.
After collecting several of these fish, it was suggested he try smoking them using an Alton Brown method.
After finding the Good Eats episode that featured Alton's make-shift smoker and watching it repeatedly Mr. Logo found all his bit and pieces and proceeded to smoke some salmon.

Here is his smoker.
Here are his salmon filets, all cured, prepped and ready.

Inside the smoker he had a hotplate with a pile of wood shavings heating till they smoked and a small homemade fan to circulate the smoke a little more.
After several hours in the smoker Mr. Logo pulled out some of the yummiest food known to humanity,
smoked salmon. We taste tested one filet and somehow it completely disappeared!!
Mmmmmmmm
A goood man and good food, some of the best stuff in life.