Tuesday, April 16, 2013
The #1 least effective way to calm down anyone, ever.
Years of intensive research have shown that the least effective way to calm a person who is distraught, stressed, angry, hysterical, or otherwise disturbed in any way is to tell them,
"Calm down." In fact, this often further agitates the intended calm-ee.
Some of the most common responses are as follows:
"&^%$ off*!" or "@%^$ you*!"
Or sometimes, "Calm THIS, jackwagon*!"
" I AM CALM!!"
"You calm down, arrogant asshat*!"
In almost no cases know to science has the response been;
"Ah, I see that my response to this situation may not entirely rational. A more objective approach would no doubt be more helpful and appropriate. Thank you so much for pointing this out to me; I deeply appreciate your concern."
*Under stress it seems some people have a serious potty mouth, shocking, I wish they would just calm down.