Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Non hai capito

There are any number of things I don't really understand.
For example, I comprehend the overview of how electricity works, but don't hand me an electrical system schematic and expect me to be anything but confused. I'm also a little sketchy on the ins and outs of the orderly mind. How does THAT work?
Here is something else I'm unclear about.
Below you see an item mailed to us last week. It is a Jesus prayer rug (of the finest copier paper) from...
"a 57 year old church who wants to pray for YOU!"
All one must do is kneel on this rug or, if kneeling not possible, simply place in on your lap making sure it is in contact with BOTH knees.
If you REALLY believe, the eyes of Jesus on the rug will open, and then you will know your prayers are answered.
After praying on this rug you must fold it carefully and mail it back to the church so that they can join in the praying and then mail it on to others.
You can rest assured that if you do this, your prayers will be answered.
Testimonials are included.
Also included in the packaged was this envelope...

which is NOT TO BE OPENED TILL THE RUG IS IN THE MAIL on its return journey to the 57 year old church who wants to pray for YOU!
It contains detailed prophecies about the future.
Well, you know, what with one thing and another, it ended up being opened and I was AMAZED by the enclosed revelations.

Stunning, just stunning, really.
Ok, one other thing I don't understand.
What is my dog's issue with folded laundry?
She knocks it over every chance she gets.
Here she is perched and ready to attack.

Ornery little bitch!

22 comments:

Vera said...

That rug made my year!!
Happy New Year, LogoBogo!

/Vera

Kyahgirl said...

I fear you are on the fast track to hell dear sis! Mocking the holy rug is a very risky thing.

Happy New Year to you, the Things, your sweet man, and of course, Queen Ariella.

Tom & Icy said...

We got one of those Holy Rug things about twenty years ago and was surprised they are still doing it. We stole your picture and used Crazy Talk to animate it on our Asinine News blog. Interesting optical illusion.
Icy said knocking stuff over is what the cats do at our house.

lime said...

you ARE kidding me about the prayer rug...please tell me this is a joke.

Gillian @ Indigo Blue said...

Diggin the Jesus rug. Too bad the eyes will NEVER open because it is a piece of paper and not a real rug.

;D

I know...I know. The eyes likely wouldn't open anyways. Sheesh.

xo
Gillian

Candace said...

Clearly you need to get on your knees (on the rug) and pray that Ariella stops knocking over your laundry. ^_^

So now you cut a big hole in the floor and cut the eyes out of the "rug" and lie down in the hole with the "rug" over your face (eyes in the eye holes) and conceal the rest of yourself with a rug (a real one, not a paper one) and then do a whole candid camera thing with gullible guests. Yep.

actonbell said...

I've never heard of the rug thing. I was expecting the prophecy to be a plea for money: "And if you'd REALLY like your prayers answered, sent in your check for..."
Cynical, I know.

Knocking over laundry is just too much fun to pass up.

S said...

Ok in regard tot he previous post, I thought I had missed your birthday, but then I realized, oh yeah! Christmas!
You got lots of loot child but I am still worried about the gold thing.

Ok that prayer thing is hilarious. At least they didn't ask you to take their five billion dollars into your bank account and all that.....
Sooooo, did the eyes open yet?

And yeah, remember, this blog used to belong to your dog.
S

S said...

thats golf thing not gold thing

furiousBall said...

duh... the dog is obviously looking for more jesus linens.

Nessa said...

What happens if you don't send the rug back? What if you don't have knees? What if you think it's all a load of huuy?

Doggie is just trying to play with you.

wreckless said...

I don't understand all the nuts out there-How can the world get so whacked out?
Jesus Rugs-geesh

VE said...

Of course Jesus rug copies are the KEY to salvation...until we run out of trees to make paper for praying that is...

Real Live Lesbian said...

Does Jesus know about the Jesus rug?

Just wonderin'...

egan said...

Does your comprehend the work it takes to fold the clothes?

One thing I have trouble wrapping my head around is phones. To be able to pick up a phone and ring someone on the other side of the continent and chat real time is so mind bogling.

Diesel said...

I got that same thing in the mail! If I could have found it back, I would have blogged about it too.

I guess we're on the "Gullible idiots" mailing list.

david mcmahon said...

G'day from Australia,

I came here from Lime's blog - and really enjoyed this post. Shall we simply say it's ``electrifying''!!

Jeni said...

And I came here from David McMahon's place because he said there was some good reading material here. Know what? He was right! I really enjoyed this post! And guess what else? I got one of those paper Jesus Rugs in the mail the other day too except all I did with it was, unfortunately -probably sacrilege - but I just deep-sixed it in to my garbage. Didn't even read that it was a "paper rug" for that matter. It joined up there with the latest mailing too from good old Capitol One credit card promotions. The last thing I need in MY wallet!

cube said...

I got one of those paper prayer rugs and if you stared at it long enough, you would see the eyes open up. It was just an optical illusion... I think ;-)

wyo said...

I just got one, too. I was scared to open the "rug," lest Jesus see I was reading my mail in the bathroom.

Gawpo said...

Forget picking up a PHONE to call someone an earth's diameter away. What blows MY mind is being able to talk to a guy on Vanuatu or in the middle of Fum Buck Egypt on my ham radio. Now THAT's mind boggling.

Gawpo said...

Me not get no creepy Jesus pitcher. Ew. Veeerd. Worse than speaking Dutch.