I have detailed internal conversations and the two main characters in my head before.
Sometimes, I don't know what to tell you, sometimes the Editor takes a break and the Imp holds sway!
A couple weeks ago I was shopping with a girlfriend. As we left I checked for cars before crossing the roadway between rows of parked vehicles. I began to cross and a jacked-up pickup truck WAY down at the end of the lane began revving it's engine. I slowed to a pronounced saunter and the thought crossed my mind that it might be a friend being ornery, but then the truck roared up toward me and I realized, no, this was just an obnoxious redneck so I took my time strolling toward the parked cars. When I reached that relative safety I just to face the truck, smiled as widely as possible and waved.
The guy driving truck then floored it so hard his girlfriend/cousin/step-sister sitting in the middle seat probably slammed her head into his gun rack as he went flying through the parking lot. I guess he showed me!
But I got a giggle out of the experience, and that is all I ask.
at my mom's memorial service just over a week ago one of THOSE people approached.
He is loud, rude, obnoxious, offensive, laughs loudly at his own inappropriate jokes, and generally doesn't seem to notice everyone backing away from him. He has been a friend of my parents for nearly 30 years though, so what can you do?
He walked up while his son, daughter-in-law, and I were commiserating about 13 year old children. He attempted to pat my mid-section and asked if I was expecting number four or had just been enjoying the buffet. His son interupted, "Dad!" His daughter in law corrected, "She only HAS two kids!" and I flicked his hand away.
Then, without a pause for thought I said,
"I'm actually just fat, thanks so much for pointing that out.
Say anything else and I'm going to kick you in the 'nads."
He began to laughly excuse himself and I did a talk-to-the-hand, interupting him firmly,
"Uh, no, nuh uh..." as he tried to keep talking.
His wife walked over just then and told me I could feel free to stab him in the eye.
I explained to her that I was unclear on why he was even still alive, she knew where he been sleeping for the last 40 YEARS after all.
Into this Mr. Logo then walked and immediately realized something uncomfortable was afoot.
Once again the obnoxious creature began to try repeating his terribly witty remarks and I actually stepped forward, pulled my leg back, and I would have kicked him but he stepped back sharply, covered his mouth and wisely decided to go get more coffee.
He did call and ask me to forgive him two days later, explaining he was reprimanded for the whole three hour ride home because "some people just don't get my sense of humor."