We've been a little busy lately. One of the results of this is that the Tooth Fairy was very slow in responding to the lost tooth of the elder Thing. He received the following in the mail.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Dear Thing One,
We have been notified regarding the delay in your receipt of honorarium for your most recent lost tooth. Please accept our apologies. Recent disruptions in service are largely attributable to technology upgrades, new demands to cope with heightened national security as well as increased household security measures which are increasingly common, and changes in how transactions are handled.
The vigilance with which all air traffic is now monitored, and the stern, even extreme measures taken these days were a key factor in causing the Tooth Fairy Consortium Strike (one tooth fairy gets a wing shot off and they all get mighty huffy, let me tell you). Successful negotiations were not reached (I’m sorry, but with the tooth exchange rate at an all time low and health care costs being what they are we simply cannot afford two dwarf body guards for each fairy, its just not feasible!!) and so I would like to inform you that your services are now being provided by a new vendor. Some of our clients are being serviced by pixies and in remote areas gnomes are sub-contracting to provide all our little boys and girls the kind of quality service that has been expected for generations.
The delay in processing your case has highlighted some critical errors in the system which were promptly addressed and the computer programmer and the gnome responsible were sacked (we had to rehire them straight away as we are very short-handed but believe me, they were really scared there for a minute, the gnome even started to cry and promised to do better, of course the computer programmer was blubbering right from the beginning, but that’s to be expected).
In addition to your tooth honorarium we are enclosing a gift, a fairy kiss, please apply topically to your forehead which should serve to give you a brief sense of being affectionately regarded and should prevent chicken pox for at least 24 hours.
Thank you for your continued business,
The Fairy Queen (Tooth Division, Seattle Branch)