Monday, October 18, 2010

Colorful metaphors!

It is a consistent feature of my adult relationships that although I tell people I grew up in an incredibly conservative environment it is not until some detail arises and shocks them that they truly grasp HOW conservative an environment I mean.

I recently mentioned that I got detention for using "colorful metaphor" at school. I do not mean I used a colorful metaphor ( for example - "Double dumbass on you!"), oh no.
I mean that on the volleyball court, during practice, a gal bumped the ball offsides and I went scrambling after it, when I missed it I muttered...and I quote, "Colorful metaphors!"

This was deemed a euphemism and highly inappropriate.

Today we are taking our newly-purchased used car back to the dealership for repairs for the second time in the week that we have owned it. Twice now it has konked out on Mr. Logo on his way to work. There is a distinct lack of lighted-heartedness, mirth, or joy on this subject.
It is, in fact, what some might refer to as
a sore subject.

As we transport the gimpy &*%$&%$ thing back to where we purchased it so they can attempt to actually repair it...
let me just tell you,

forget the euphemisms; I am using some colorful metaphors!


quilly said...

That's it, young lady! Next time I see you I am washing your mouth out with ... a Calico Cupboard cinnamon roll! So there!

actonbell said...

Ah, absolutely, I'd be a sour, rotten lemon if that was how my car was behaving. Good luck!

(Cars. Can't live with them, can't live without them)

Anonymous said...

"sore subject" - how can a subject be sore? did it fall down? maybe it had an altercation with a predicate...

lime said...

sweet fancy moses, i'd have been using them back on the school administrators who were threatened by a clever student with an excellent vocabulary!

The Grunt said...

You'd be a racist if it were a "colored" metaphor that you used.