My New Year's Resolutions

1. I resolve not to smoke this year (I make this resolution every year and so far I've had 100% success).
2. I resolve to ride my motorcycle as much as possible and read a bunch of books.
3. I resolve to enjoy life, not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.

Hope you have a great evening tonight and a truly fabulous New Year that brings more laughter than tears and events that will bring delight when remembered.
If that is aiming too high, well, here's to hoping it won't suck.
Cheers!

It is possible my husband regards me as

mildly retarded.
While I have been known to call from the store to ask, "Why did I come here again?" I am a reasonable intelligent and self-sufficient human being.
Due to his previous career in the military I have in fact maintained our household in his absence for up to six months at a time, all by myself! It is true that I lack his attention to every fricking minute detail of life but that is ok. If you had two people who were that uptight in one house the resultant tension could rip a hole in the time/space continuum, and then where would you be, or when for that matter?
Now see, I can remember completely useless trivia. The immediate usefulness of any information evidently dicates how my brain processes and stores it.
"Spouse's cell phone-toss it, it's crap!"
"Cultures responsible for Cuniform, Linear B, and Hieroglyphs- queue for critical retention."
I swear I don't do it on purpose! I have other little foibles as well.
I've tried to convince him it's all just part of my charm. The extent to which he is charmed seems inversely proportional to the amount of aggravation said tendencies are currently causing.
Anyway, we are working on year 17 of this marriage, so clearly we are successfully negotiating all this so far.
The reason I even bring it up is because I got an email asking me to do a couple errands and this was at the end of the mail...

PRINT THIS PAGE PRINT THIS PAGE PRINT THIS PAGE PRINT THIS PAGE PRINT THIS PAGE PRINT THIS PAGE PRINT THIS PAGE PRINT THIS PAGE
O.K., drive careful and I'll see you when I get home. Love ya lots.

In BOLD, underlined, red text he informed me he thought I would benefit from carrying the list with me.
Isn't that sweet?

We got the coolest, easiest game evah!

It's called Shut the Box.

It's fun for the whole family! The kids get to practice their math and the grown ups get to bet.

I whomped my brother in law by shutting the box when we had both bet our whole stack of chips. I had been down to one chip at one point then came back with a vengence and KICKED ASS!

Not that I am competitive or anything, it's all just good clean fun, especially when I win :D

Cards I did not send this year.

See how well behaved I can be?

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

OK, so the esteemed elder sister made a standing rib roast for Christmas dinner.
Oh em gee! That is a nice hunk of cow, mmmmm.
The roads were mostly empty so our trip to see the family on Whidbey Island was quick and painless.
Such good food, and I whooped @$$ at a new game we received.
The neice and nephew quite enjoyed their Walter the Farting Dog book and stuffed animal.
Now I am tired and must get to sleep.
Nanight!

Christmas Eve means...

good food! At least when Mr. Logo is around.

We adopted some Italian traditions during our three years in Italy and The Feast of 7 Fishes is among our favorites,

even though we are not Catholic.

Here is an article from a local paper about the tradition.

We've invited some friends to join us this afternoon.

We'll start eating about 4:30 and finish up at about 9:30.

Here is a reprise of last year's feast.

This year we are having homemade crab ricotta ravioli with other little nibbles for starters.

We are also having frutta di mare insalata (you can never have enough squid, octopus or cuttlefish in your diet).

For primi piatti we are having fettucine al salmone.

There are also clams and mussels in a red sauce and THEN

a mixed green salad with pan seared scallops.

For dessert we will have caffe and assorted holiday cookies.

It should be YUMMY!

Happy Festivus!

Today is the day for the eating of comfort food, the airing of grievances and feats of strength.
The thumb wrestling championships were after dinner and then the good bit...
"I got alot of problems with you people, and now you're gonna hear about it!"

Ah, the holidays, a time of peace and love and all like that stuff there.
Tomorrow, 7 seafood dinner for Christmas Eve! Yummmm
Given that we celebrate Festivus, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and Boxing Day I find myself rather busy.

Heifer project total...$600!!
If you want to contribute you have until the 25th to follow the link over there >>
Hope you had a happy Festivus!

Here, read this meme and pretend I said something interesting, please

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Gift bags whenever possible (I believe in energy conservation) but they don't work so well with something, and some PEOPLE, gift lookers!!

2. Real tree or artificial?
REAL! Must be real, always! You hear me, Mr. Logo?? ALWAYS!

3. When do you put up the tree?
As soon as I can talk Mr. Logo into it Usually around the 15th

4. When do you take the tree down?
After New Year's or Epiphany

5. Do you like eggnog?
Eggnog is lovely, especially with Capn Morgan

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
A Barbie dream house from my gramma, ooooooo, Barbie was stylin'

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
Yup, if you lived in Naples and don't have Il Precepe of some kind I think you get a fine or something, at least a very stern lecture from an Italian grandmother, be afraid

8. Hardest person to buy for?
I dunno, I figure if you can't decide what exactly someone would want you get them food. Everyone likes food, and now its so easy to get people gift cards, there is no such thing as hard to buy for anymore!

9. Easiest person to buy for?
The kids, they are very clear on what they want and therefore I am very clear on what they want

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Mail, and late

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
A sweater with huge embroidered flowers and sequins. Kill me now, my step-mother-in-law must have thought I would wear it

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
Charlie Brown or Christmas Story, oh, or the Muppets Christmas Carol, or...

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
When I can no longer ignore Mr. Logo's urging to get the present buying taken care of

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Nope

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
My sister's cheesecake, mmmmmm

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
I prefer clear, Mr. Logo prefers colored, we have colored lights on the tree but NO ICESICLES!!
This far and no further, dang it!

17. Favorite Christmas song?
Stop the Cavalry by Jona Lewie

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
At home for part, and with local family for part

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
Probably not, am I allowed to Google?

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Star, with lights in it

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
One on Christmas Eve, the rest on Christmas morning

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
Commercialism

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?
Penguins, I love my penguin ornaments. Ive been sort of collecting them for years but I keep it quiet because I don't want a bunch of stupid, ugly penguins given to me which I would then be forced to use

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?
We all love the appetizers and the desserts, so we focus on those Christmas day. The 7 Seafood dinner on Christmas Eve is always a big hit. Although this year the esteemed elder sister is making a standing roast, ooooooo

25. Leave cookies & milk for Santa?
Nope

I have a time deficit

Too much to do and not enough time to do.
I think the time bandits have been raiding my stash.
I'm going to be gone till tomorrow night.
If you start missing me too much feel free to dig through the archives till you find a pic and then talk to it.
Just don't do anything creepy, or if you do, don't tell me about it.
Tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999.
Is that still passe, or is it long enough for it to be retro?

A deep dark secret

Despite not watching TV much,
and in fact, none at all for a majority of my life,
I have a confession to make.

Late at night, when the mood was right,
when I was all alone,
I would sometimes watch The Tick.

The sayings of The Tick amuses me even still.

"The night is young and we have umbrellas in our drinks."

"Yes, destiny has her hand on my back, and she's pushing."

"Eating kittens is just plain... plain wrong! And no-one should do it, ever!"

"And so, may Evil beware and may Good dress warmly and eat plenty of fresh vegetables."

"Gravity is a harsh mistress."

"Well, folks, there you have it. A day in the life of a superhero and his sidekick. It's a very long day, the tights are uncomfortable; I think we covered that before. Map light, convenient and essential. A lot of working of villain motifs. Crime has a Bossa Nova beat. Leap before you look. Remember denouement. Other French words: inconvenient, nonessential... oh... I could go on and on... But time's a-wasting and evil's out there making hand-crafted mischief for the swap meet of villainy. And you can't strike a good deal with evil. No matter how much you haggle. We don't need to look for a bargain; goodness is cheap because it's free, and free is as cheap as it gets. Cut. What was that pig about?"

One Word

This meme was stolen from Snavy.

This meme is designed to be answered in one word.

Describe ...

1. Yourself: Ineffable

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse: Effable ;)

3. Your hair: Unruly

4. Your mother: Ruly

5. Your father: Phlegmatic

6. Your favorite item: Unutterable

7. Your dream last night: Forgotten

8. Your favorite drink: Wet

9. Your dream car: Fast

10. The room you are in: Family

11. Your ex: Informative

12. Your fear: Carnies

13. What you want to be in 10 years? 45

14. Who you hung out with last night? Family

15. What You're Not? Reversible

16. Muffins: Marvelous

17. One of your wish list items: Llama

18. Time: Flying

19. The last thing you did: Mediate

20. What you are wearing: Cozy

21. Your favorite weather: Fall

22. Your favorite book: Multiple

23. The last thing you ate: Cereal

24. Your life: Complete

25. Your mood: Capricious

26. Your best friend: Fabulous

27. What are you thinking about right now? Finishing

28. Your car: Functional

29. What are you doing at the moment? Answering

30. Your summer: Fast

31. Your relationship status: Married (and dating exclusively)

32. What is on your TV? Nada

33. What is the weather like? Windy

34. When is the last time you laughed? Recently

35. What do you think of memes with missing or odd numbered questions: Frustrating

Seasons change with the scenery, weaving time in a tapestry

It's hard to believe it's not officially winter yet.

It feels like winter.

I'm ready for Christmas break and eagerly anticipating the winter solstice.

Come on, December 21st! I want those longer days.

Whenever it gets close to the winter solstice I think of my visit to Newgrange, In Ireland. It was a fascinating place.

This is the opening to the structure and that rectangle (roof box) above the main door is aligned so the sun shines through it directly only from the 19th to the 23rd of December.

It's estimated Newgrange was built about 3200 BC. Ancient humans in Ireland built this enormous thing and aligned it perfectly to sun's course in the sky. An amazing feat accomplished without surveyors, retractable measuring tapes, compasses, telescopes or building code inspectors.

We will not be building anything, but I will let the Things stay up all night, the idea being to watch the sunrise after the longest night of the year. We will oooo and aaah over the astronomical wonders included in our "Round the Sun in 365 Days adventure cruise (no expenses included, void where prohibited, cruise length is indefinite, see participating dealers for details)."

In other news,

we have $200 toward out Heifer Project donation!

Well, after a full week and an additional Monday

the verdict is in. Mr. Logo is a

and he LOVES it!!

I want to get him that patch from Archie McPhee's along with some Cubes ™ for him to play with when he hits a slow moment. In other new, he also has a laptop and carries a cell phone these days, who knew? He is a reformed Luddite. He even downloaded applications to his phone!! I'm so proud.

Ok, and to finish off this post, I have another poll.

Ok, the scene,

Logo has gone to meet the esteemed elder sister in a town about 30 minutes away from home. She has gone in Mr. Logo's commuter car (the crappy lil car in Logo lingo). Unlike her reasonably up-to-date vehicle this one does NOT automatically kill the lights when you turn off the engine. Can you see this one coming?

That's right, I drained the battery.

I checked the trunk- no jumper cables. So I called Mr. Logo and told him I needed a rescue.

Mr. Logo was disinclined to acquiesce to my request.

He suggested I have my sister take me to an automotive center and purchase some booster cables.

I did so, jumped the car and all was well.

There appears to be a difference of opinion regarding Mr. Logo's behavior.

Some regard his decision not to come to my rescue personally as an offense of the most egregious nature.

Now, I have dealt with car issues in the past. In fact, I've dealt with car issues in Greece and Italy. I have, due to necessity, known how to pop-start or jump an engine since shortly after I could drive.

So I regarded it as mildly annoying, but the big problem as far as I was concerned was not having cables in the car in the FIRST place. We fixed that though, so it was all good (I even got a bag for storing them).

Anyway, men, what would you do?

Ladies, what would you expect?

So, I have this thing

I have an extensive list of things I don't care to do.

That is the polite way my children and I tell each other we hate something.

Thing One used to get it all confused.

"Thing, would you like broccoli and banana bisque?"

"No, mommy, I don't forcare it."

"Good call, lil dude, let's have ice cream instead!"

But I digress.

On my list of things I don't forcare there is:

1.) Attend office parties featuring no one I know

2.) Getting all dressed up

3.) Going shopping

Well, guess what I am doing? Go ahead, guess, I betcha you'll get it!

I will be attending an office Christmas party for my husband's new place of employment at which the dress is "holiday cocktail attire."

If you were paying attention to the list you would have seen that item two (2) means this is not my dream evening and that I lack the wardrobe for such events which leads us to item three (3).

Friday I went to Seattle for the joint purposes of lunching with my beloved (that would be Mr. Logo!!) and shopping.

There were some little snags.

I sorta kinda lost my wallet temporarily,

AND

I was shopping with two small boys.

Needless to say,

I didn't find anything.

But that was ok, because the very next day I went on the Batan Death March,

no no no,

I mean, I went shopping with my esteemed elder sister,

who occasionally reads this blog and will be in no way criticized at any time.

She managed to find me a dress and the bits and pieces these dresses require.

So I present to you now,

Logo a la party dress mode.

The whole thing...

the fancy lil hemline with strappy heels...
the shiny lil doo-dad and a close out of the velvet burn out fabric, and.. OMG!! Did you see that?? I have CLEAVAGE!

The girls are quite happy in their booster seats and I guess since I will look ok and be comfortable I can survive a Christmas party, besides, it's going to be at the aquarium, that could be cool, right?

Sheesh, you men have it easy, stick on a tie with a tree and voila, you're done.

There's simply no justice in the world.

A little of this and a little of that

Here is a pic of our bird feeders during the snow.

Our lil feathered friends were very busy eating during the cold snap.

The snow is totally gone at this point but there are places on the road where the sand is still really heavy.

This may not seem significant to you, but as a motorcyclist, it's pretty important to me.

I LOVE living in the NW by the way.

Last week we had ice and snow everywhere but this week we are back to normal and that means I went out for a ride this evening on my new bike

:D

I cruised through the neighborhood where I got to see some lovely Christmas lights then headed out to the main road where I opened it up a little bit, yay. And even though I was only wearing a pair of jeans when I returned home I was not anywhere near being an ice-pop.

You have to love that, 50 degrees at 7:00 PM.

Next pic is the table Thing One set for his dad's birthday.

He got out the etiquette book and he did the whole thing himself. The everyday table cloth was not good enough, we had to use the Norataki china from my gramma, the crystal from Mr. Logo's mom, he brought out the candles, and made and decorated place cards for everyone. He even handwashed all the china himself. How awesome is that?

Next we have a gift I got from my Susie Qoo. A mini coffee pot!

Is it not cute?

Is it not precious?

Oh, and on my ride I determined something. My bike is definitely a girl.

I'm thinking we may have to go with Red Molly.

Jury's still out on the name though.

That's for you, Dan, I know how you love the movie links.

Now, whose life did we say it was?

When in the course of canine/human events it becomes necessary for one dog to reclaim the web log which has connected her with others and to assume among the bloggers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle her.... in short,
Ariella here, and dang it, they are at it again. If it weren't bad enough they bogart the couch, the blog, the bed and the chocolate they also deny me the call of the wild. So fine, they want to feed the birds, ok, too much Mary Poppins in the formative years would be my diagnosis, but whatever. However, they could have the decently to let me chase away the non-avian interlopers who insist on invading my yard and stealing the food they put out for the birds!

The filthy little theives actually ripped open and stole the entire suet block on this other post but am I allowed to chase them away? Tear their nasty tiny tails from their sneaky little bodies? Ooooh nooo, because they are" sooooo cute!"

Whatever!

Color me displeased.

Other than that, everything is fine.

Ariella out.

Happy Birthday, honey!

It's a BIRTHDAY QUIZ

For a guy who's a star!

Well, he is in my book anyway.

Here is a pic of him letting a dozen kids on a sugar high chase him with water balloons.

This year he also coached Little League, took his older son to Montana on his motorcycle, changed careers, and bought me a new motorcycle.

Here's to hoping it's an even better year that coming!

Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

This year Thing One and Thing Two (along with their parental units) have requested family and friends help us donate to familes in need rather than give us gifts. We are doing this through The Heifer Project.

Our page is also available now through Christmas at the top of my links.

If a charitable gift has not been part of your holiday celebration I hope you will consider joining us. If you do this kind of thing regularly but have not already donated your allotted amount to another organization I invite you too.

Thing One is hoping to raise enough to donate a water buffalo,

Thing Two wants to donate a llama and a hive of bees.

(Links to songs included especially for Dan who has a weird nipple)

Donations of $10 are options under sheep and seedlings but of course there is no pressure.

Anyway,

Hope everyone has a very nearly painless Monday.

Now I really have the power!!

Yesterday the Logophile family went out to catch up on snow delayed errands. While we were out we stopped at a Yamaha dealership. As anyone who reads this blog more than occasionally will know, I've been wanting a Yamaha V Star 1100. And as fate, karma, chance, or an incredibly benevolent supreme being would have it, there was a candy apple red model with silver shadow flames sitting on the showroom floor, and they wanted it gone.

So we bought it.

It is sitting in my garage.

It is sleek and smooth,

it has a lovely purr that deepens up to a roar,

it shines and glistens,

and it is all mine.

Thanks, Mr. Logo, you are the BEST!

By the way,

opinion poll here,

do you think vehicles ought to be given names and assigned genders?

If so, what are your suggestion for my brand new bike?

By the power of greyskull...

I have THE POWER!!

I like electricity.
4 days without power in the snow have reminded me how much I really, really, really like having power.
Oh, and the snow belongs in the fricking mountains!!

Normal is a highly subjective term.

The other day while I was standing in the kitchen I received a call on my cell phone.
I answered the phone and heard a deep voice with a vaguely English accent saying,
"You're a maaaaaaarshmallow."
It was Thing One calling from the extension.
This may seem an odd term of endearment, and odd behavior, to some of you, but that just means it fits in around here.

A couple years ago I was sitting with a friend when Thing Two came running to me,
"Mom, he stole my love penny!"
My friend looked very puzzled, "Love penny??"
This required a historical background.
When Thing One was very small and would ask for money I would usually give him a penny,
"Alright, here, you can have this just because I love you."
Occasionally he would give me a penny for the same reason.
These came to be called love pennies. Nowadays, what with inflation and all, I occasionally get love nickels.
The theft of any money is a heinous crime, but to take a child's love penny seems especially egregious.
I actually have a love nickel sitting beside my computer monitor right now.
It's very reassuring, I am loved AND if I have a desperate need for a gumball, I am set.

Love can be shown all kinds of ways, and gloves are one of the best.
I hate having cold hands.
I've generally pretty warm blooded. I run around in a sweater when friends are in coats and I am just fine.
But I hate it when my hands are cold.
I don't care if I have doors held open for me.
I don't even notice if I end up walking on the traffic side of the sidewalk,
but gloves, now that will capture my little heart.
I received an absolutely fabulous pair of gloves from Mr. Logo when we were living in Italy.
They were picked right out of my pocket on a bus in Rome.
That was very upsetting to me.
But I digress.
The other thing I wanted to mention is...
on Friday I received something that made me feel quite loved.

In which we learn how much Logo loves coffee.

Several weeks ago I ran up a flight of stairs to a classroom with all the equipment I needed to teach; an enormous bag loaded with notebooks, textbooks, grapevine wreath crowns (it was a class about Ancient Greece and the Olympics), etc. etc etc.and a cup of coffee. Just as I got to the top of the stairs the edge of the bag caught on a step, my balance shifted, my foot hit the top step instead of clearing it and I went flying. As I sprawled across the landing I managed to break my fall on my elbows and knees in such a manner that I avoiding spilling my coffee, a feat of remarkable, if foolish, prowess.
Due to little incident where I walked out in front of a moving car quite some years ago my knees are hardly in good shape to start with and these sorts of shenanigans do not help. Weeks of babying the joint had paid off and it was feeling much better.
Today, courtesy of a turkey grease spill, I managed to pull a similar maneuver in my kitchen with a freshly made latte in a mug from Italy. The mug survived the fall without so much as a bump. Half the coffee unfortunately ended up splattered all over the walls, the window, the ceiling, the fridge, the counters, and on me. The other half stayed in the mug and was delicious.
I did not fare as well, though it was nothing that being waited on and medication couldn't handle.
Happy T day to you!

I have a friend

who is a smartass.

(yes, possibly moreso than I am)

She sent me this mug.

And this is what I did to it.

Its on its way back to her.

Hope she likes it!

Buona Domenica!

Alright, so its been nearly a week since I updated my blog, and I thought a nice recycled idea would JUST fit the bill. I found the following quite amusing and shared it with a couple of people who thought it was too. So now I am going to post it and hope I don't bore you all silly with it.
The following is a man's explanation of why he thinks the "Women are complex, men are simple" thing is completely off base.
-------
Men are extremely complex. The area we are most complex is in the interaction with women. This is because we:
1. Know what we what,
2. We know you know what we want,
3. We also know it is much better than sweet corn (this is an in-joke).
We have usually built up a fairly decent amount of data as to how women will react to certain things. At any time where a response on our part is expected we immediately plug the possible responses into our data matrix and calculate how that will affect the probability of us getting what we want. Then we also calculate how that response will affect the woman's expectations in the future and the resulting effort on our part it will take to meet those expectations. At this point we have to take into account our willingness to extend that effort and the ability to change to the point we can meet those expectations.
So now we have a three variable polynomial. However you must realize that this is derived from empirical data and is not an absolute formula. Therefore the situation could be looked at as just another experiment to gather data which will be used for future decisions.
There are, of course, other terms that we must take into consideration. We know that timing and the immediate past are very important to the calculation. An improper response can destroy all the effort we had put in previous to this moment.
I'm still at a loss to explain this fact, but then I'm not a woman.
Now I could go on, but explicating the rest of the variables would be tedious and they are of less importance, and frankly men often discard them in the interest of time. We know that we have to reply after it seems we have considered the issue (which I think I have proved that we do, just not the way women might think) but before the point a woman gets annoyed and thinks that the man has been ignoring her.
This is an amazing feat of number crunching even disregarding the data collection that has gone on in the past. Only after this analysis do we give the response which we think maximizes the probability and at the same time minimizes our effort.
So I think that you can't say that men are simple by any stretch of the imagination. It just surprises me given the tremendous effort that goes into each response we give that we are so often wrong.

Note: all people who are sticklers for mathematical rigor should not read further.
First the formula then the explanation.
P(Sigma Epsilon Chi) = 1 - [(A/X) + (B/X^2) + (C/X^3) + ... + (N/X^n)]
While not specifically statedin the original description arose what men are really calculating is a probability.
Therefore we have the standard probability formula of the form P=1-Y. The choice of Sigma Epsilon Chi as what we are calculating the probability of should be obvious. There are limits placed on this formula. As the probability of anything cannot be more than one or less than zero (given standard definitions) therefore the variable term must be bounded by one and zero. This leads to the limitation of X, which is the actual variable in the equation, to be greater or equal to one. The terms A, B, C, up to N are constants. All the constants are in fact derived from previous encounters. These have a fair degree of stability.I have defined A as the inverse probability of Sigma Epsilon Chi for a certain response determined in the past. In other words there is a probability of Sigma Epsilon Chi for "yes dear", "I love you", and "get back in the kitchen and make me some pie". The greater the probability for Sigma Epsilon Chi given a particular response must be subtracted from one to arrive at A. Therefore a response with a large probability would decrease the A/X term and maximize the probability for Sigma Epsilon Chi if all other terms are held constant.The B term is defined as the delta of future expectations. While at first glance this would seem to have nothing to do with the probability of Sigma Epsilon Chi it actually does influence it. Men know that women always want to raise the bar even if they are continually disappointed with their effectiveness at doing so. So if a given response would seem to raise the bar for future romantic efforts it increases the probability of Sigma Epsilon Chi. Men want to hold this bar down (see explanation of the C term) so they strive to minimize the delta. Ideally the delta would be zero but the perceived delta would be very large.The C term is the total willingness and capacity to meet those future expectations when the bar is raised. In an ideal world for men they wouldn't have to do anything to achieve a probability of one for Sigma Epsilon Chi. Since this is obviously not the case effort must be expended. Men also know that they cannot over-promise for the future in order to receive Sigma Epsilon Chi unless there is no plan to be involved with the current controller of Sigma Epsilon Chi. Which I must point out is a very bad practice because it throws off the calculations of every subsequent man involved in the future with said controller.Now there are obviously N constants associated with this calculation. Since it would be tedious to catalog them all I am going to dispense with that exposition. However we are still left with the most important term in the calculation. That is X. X is an unknown. That is because it cannot be determined with certainty until after the response has been given. X is of course the woman's inclination to Sigma Epsilon Chi at a given time. This would obviously be completely unknown to the man. Men must project what this X will be for a given response. While some X's are fairly certain (the use of the B word is almost certain to drive X to near one) the higher values are very difficult to arrive at. The higher values are the ones which give the greatest probability of Sigma Epsilon Chi.At the end though the whole probability devolves to 0.5 because as we all know either it happens or it doesn't.


-----------------------------
P.S. Here is the medical scoop, many thanks for all your prayers and well wishes.
My auntie had surgery and it seems to have gone really well.
She may not even require chemo!
We'll know more when the test results are returned in a couple days.

I am a very busy and important person!

Alright, so here's the thing.
I'm a little busy and stressed out lately,
and my blogging is suffering.
It's not that I don't love you all,
because clearly I do.

To sum up,
Mr. Logo has just accepted a new job, yay!
My mom's breast cancer has re-occurred, pisser.
My aunt was diagnoses the same day with the same thing,
same breast even, sisterly solidarity I guess.
We are hosting Thanksgiving here.
I have school stuff to do,
and this and that,
and I can't find my overdue library book.

In which we learn that Thing Two has MAD skillz

Here we see the younger of the Things taking a moment from eating his dinner to display a newly mastered and obviously important and difficult skill.

Don't be jealous, if you work really hard you too could be this good.

Though you may never be this cute, sorry, that's just the way it goes,

deal with it.

Happy Veteran's Day

My friend Lime

sent me a present!! I love me some tea!

It is the perfect treat for fall days.
Here is a little visitor who came to see us recently.It reminded me of Still Life With Woodpecker.

In other news,

Mr. Logo is definitely not into wearing this shirt.However, The Things were happy to try it a la Snavletts.Look for the third act, appearing soon at a blog near you!

Reading other people's mail

We've been a little busy lately. One of the results of this is that the Tooth Fairy was very slow in responding to the lost tooth of the elder Thing. He received the following in the mail.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Thing One,

We have been notified regarding the delay in your receipt of honorarium for your most recent lost tooth. Please accept our apologies. Recent disruptions in service are largely attributable to technology upgrades, new demands to cope with heightened national security as well as increased household security measures which are increasingly common, and changes in how transactions are handled.

The vigilance with which all air traffic is now monitored, and the stern, even extreme measures taken these days were a key factor in causing the Tooth Fairy Consortium Strike (one tooth fairy gets a wing shot off and they all get mighty huffy, let me tell you). Successful negotiations were not reached (I’m sorry, but with the tooth exchange rate at an all time low and health care costs being what they are we simply cannot afford two dwarf body guards for each fairy, its just not feasible!!) and so I would like to inform you that your services are now being provided by a new vendor. Some of our clients are being serviced by pixies and in remote areas gnomes are sub-contracting to provide all our little boys and girls the kind of quality service that has been expected for generations.

The delay in processing your case has highlighted some critical errors in the system which were promptly addressed and the computer programmer and the gnome responsible were sacked (we had to rehire them straight away as we are very short-handed but believe me, they were really scared there for a minute, the gnome even started to cry and promised to do better, of course the computer programmer was blubbering right from the beginning, but that’s to be expected).

In addition to your tooth honorarium we are enclosing a gift, a fairy kiss, please apply topically to your forehead which should serve to give you a brief sense of being affectionately regarded and should prevent chicken pox for at least 24 hours.

Thank you for your continued business,

Yours, etc.


The Fairy Queen (Tooth Division, Seattle Branch)

It's Tuesday, if you're from the US, go vote!

No matter where you're from, go vote here

The path to peace.

Don't blame me,

I am pretty sure any objectionable music tastes, as well as any bad habits or bad taste in general are directly traceable to the Y chromosome.

Anyway, here is some music the Things are enjoying lately, and begging to watch over and over and over and over and over and over and over...



and this...



AND, this...





Do you see what I live with??
Do you see???

Gone Daddy Gone...

We have send my little Rebel to live with some nice folks not too far from here. After listing in For Sale sections of various publications we found someone to buy it by...sticking a sign on it. The guy from Craigslist bailed when he found out how far he would have to drive to see it. Oh well, he probably was not worthy of her anyway.

The next pic is me trying out a Victory Vegas Eight Ball.

Now, I am 5'5, which I will have you know is just ever so slightly taller than average for an American woman. Nevertheless, it is not tall enough to make any Victory motorcycle work for me, the break and clutch levers are too far as well. If Arlen could get his people working on that I would really appreciate it. But really, I will admit it, I am a sucker for an automobile, be it two wheeled or four, that works well and doesn't cost a bomb and have rigorous maintainence and repair requirements. I have test ridden this next bike several times, and I really like it.

(Cue the angelic music and a focused beam of light glinting divinely off the pipes would be good too.)

This is a Yamaha V Star 1100.

The 650 is fine, but I have been infected with a touch of Tim Allen disease.

However, I solemnly vow to you this day,

as God is my witness...

this horror and tragedy will never happen on my watch.

Oh the humanity...

I need your help...

Mr. Logo is hesitant to model Lime's latest swap-o-rama offering.

After all, it is not like he is the sort of guy to mug for the camera,

make silly faces and engage in nonsense.

He would never wear silly hats,

or goofy sunglasses,

or generally make a fool of himself for the entertainment of others.

He clearly would never behave in any way that might be considered less than completely dignified.

Despite all that, I am hoping we can convince him to do this for us,

just this once.

In which we discuss swap~o~rama, comics, cleaning and Polish contributions to global society

I have strange friends.

I would be the first to admit this makes perfect sense in light of the whole bird flocking thingee.

Speaking of thingees and birds, two quick asides that just occurred.

1.) The Things, who've recently watched the Beatle's movie Help! have taken to repeating this dialogue,

"Look out! It's a thingee, a fiendish thingee!"

This is apparently most useful when their parents have told them to pick something up.

2.) You know how when geese fly together in a V one side is always longer than the other.

Do you know why that is?

I do.

My dad told me.

There are more geese on that side.

Moving on, I have received more swapage!

This lovely piece of... clothing comes to us from Snav who got it from Lime.

And I present it to you here to ask for your assistance.

Some poor member of my family needs to model this work of art.

Cast your votes in the comments, should it be Thing One? Thing Two?

Or that freakest of all freaques, Mr. Logo?

I ALSO received from Susie Q a lovely little mini-mag.

It is a pretty cool little comic by an extremely talented artist.

It reminded me of a gift I received not too long ago.

A very kind blogger friend purchased this comic for me, hopefully not because he thinks of me a psychopathic killer or exceptionally nerdy but merely because I am from the northwest.

As a child I was frequently read a book called The Big Tidy Up.

It is no longer in print and I am unlikely to purchase this copy.

We do have the one read to my siblings and myself, it is not in great shape but my kids have enjoyed it and we recently passed it on to the younger cousins, the esteemed elder sisters munchkins.

It is one of those stories that we requested over and over, and so have my kids,

so the majority of the book is actually committed to memory.

"Jennifer knew as well as you

That everything had its place

but she just didn't care

a whit,

a bit,

so her room was a real disgrace."

As illustrated in the picture below,

repeated readings did noting to alleviate the problems in the room of Thing Two.

However, rhyming storybooks are not the only thing in my bag of tricks,

oooooh no.

There is also cajoling, bribing, threatening, crying, screaming, and ripping out chunks of my own hair (although someone has to clean THAT up later too, so I tend to think it's not the most pratical choice).

Interestingly enough, you see the effective approach before you.

Although, I had intended it as a threat he took it as a bribe.

I said I was going to take a pic of the mess and post it.

He asked if I would take one when he was done too.

So I did.

Who am I to argue with what works?

And one last item before I stop rambling.

In addition to their contributions in the arts, sciences, and ethnic jokes

the Polish should also be recognized for their pottery.

I found this at a kitchen shop and couldn't decide if it would work with my little set below.

How cute would that tea pot be with these, eh?

Good thing I don't collect tea pots, innit?

Alright, I'm done.

Oh, for those who were interested, I transcribed the text of my magnetic poetry

Flash Fiction 55 into the comment of the post below.