Tuesday, May 05, 2009

I picked a bad day to stop sniffing glue!

my few dear bloggy pals,
it's so nice to see you!
It's very calm and quiet around here these days, hm?

Life went into roller coaster mode when my mom's breast cancer reoccurred a couple years ago and then went into a tailspin when we were told it had spread to her brain about a year and a half ago. Since then she has had several radiation treatments and has really done amazingly well, all things considered.

A couple weeks ago, because the swelling in her brain complicated some other medication issues she got a ride in an ambulance and we got to have a slumber party in hospital. It was just about as much fun as it sounds.

Last week she completed the last radiation option available to her and this week she started hospice.

The Things and I have been spending a couple days a week over at the Aged P's.

It is wonderful, and a gift to have ample time and warning, and it is good and a mercy.
It is also horrible, and gruesome, and heart-wrenching, and debilitating.

I returned home today exhausted mentally, physically, emotionally, but grateful for
moments to cuddle with my honey,
grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup,
the end of the tulip festival (grrrr, flower gawkers),
and the joy a bag of Goldfish crackers and watching a late night TV show together can bring to a mom and her Things.

Whew, now I just need to remember to keep taking deep breaths and tell myself,
"I am at home in the me, I am rooted in the me that is on this adventure."


Ann(ie) said...

oh wow. While I agree the gift of a long goodbye is to be cherished, it's so hard watching loved ones go through that. xo. Thinking of you and your mom!

furiousBall said...

my dad passed away from a fall down some stairs. in many ways, i wish i had time to say goodbye, but each death is it's own. there isn't anything to do with deserves or preparations.

peace to you lady

lime said...

i am glad that in the midst of it all you know how to find joy in simple things and that folks are being supportive. a gruesome mercy seems an apt description. big hugs.

S said...

Awwww maaaan!


Sending the good thoughts.

Seamus said...

It is bittersweet is is not, having this time? It does put thing into a different perspective and it sounds like you're doing your best with it all. You all will be in my thoughts.

I miss the tulips! :( Yeah, we were some of "those", but we mostly just parked and walked a lot with Taylor.

BTW - we've got puppy news! Come meet Gryphon!

Jersey Mama said...

(((HUGS))) Your mom is such a wonderful person and anyone who has known her, including myself, has been blessed. It's never easy to say goodbye to someone you love.

Breazy said...

My prayers go out to all of you.

Hobbes said...

We are thinking of you.