Nutella, a healthy snack?

Have you ever seen children this excited about an ACTUALLY healthy snack? Of course it is not good for you, it is packed full of sugar, fat, and chocolate. It does; however, also contain nuts and milk.

Notice the enthusiasm, and the lack of sharing with the dog, who is on the floor.

Clearly she is not a fish, so why is she spending so much time in the water?

Last night the alpha male was gone for several hours so after the children went to bed it was just the AF and I.
She started gathering up some stuff and piling it in the bathroom while running some water so I knew exactly what was coming. She was going to lock herself in there and steam herself in a vat of nearly boiling water until she was on the verge of losing consciousness. As I followed her into the small room she gave me a very stern, narrow eyed glare and said, "You had better not make a pill of yourself!" This would have hurt my feelings a little bit if I were that sort of dog. So I lay on the floor for 7 1/2 minutes listening to the Nora Jones CD and the periodic page flipping coming from the tub. After that I started to get impatient, was she OK? Why does she engage in this very bizzare behavior? So I leaned up to check on her.
















Everything seemed to be ok, although she took a very snippy tone with me.
I laid down again for a few moments, groaning loudly now about the heat and the general rudeness with which I have to deal.
(Hm, proper grammar does sound odd sometimes, doesn't it?)
Finally, she set her book down and then there wa alot of splashing, naturally this concerned me, so I mounted an investigation, as any caring pet would.

















And what do I hear?
"Would you get down, you goober, you're going to fall in again!"
Now, it should be pointed out, that only happened a couple times.
Anyway, by my pacing on the edge of the tub and whining and barking and pawing at her I was able to finally convince her that she really needed to get out of the tub.
I am so good to her!

This is one of the nosy deer who frequent my yard.
Here you can see the deer inspecting the contents of the family room through the window. The sad thing here, the humans think this is cute.






Here are the children watching the deer leave.
They are so taken in by the "Oooooo, I am soooo cute and regal" act they are actually using binoculars to watch the stupid thing LEAVE.

It is Tuesday, must be time for a rant.

OK, let me preface this statment by saying I think those people from PETA are over the top. I eat animals, and I have seen your teeth, you are suppose to be eating animals too. We omnivores have to stick together.
However, I seriously question the wellness of a species that would bring a pet into their home and then abuse or neglect it. This is a simple one, people. It is not as if you had sex and whoops...look what happened! (BTW, when that happens, put the kid up for adoption, don't mistreat it.) People actually get possession of creatures and then choose to hit them, and kick them, and starve them, and even do things worse than that. I think old Abe had it about right.

"I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it." - Abraham Lincoln

Now, let us move on to the rightful place of the canine.
By Ambrose Bierce in The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.
"DOG, n. A subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship . . . . His/Her master works for the means wherewith to purchase the idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition."

See, this is all we ask of you, worship us. Does anyone love you as much as your dog? Do your family member become insane with joy upon your arrival home?
We encourage you to fitness (take us for a freaking walk already!)
We allow you the sensual (as in "of the senses", not sexual, ya pervs) pleasure of extended contact with an affection being (that would be when you pet us).
We help you live longer.
Face it, we are the best thing going.

Sleeping in a sunny spot, what could be better? 

Me me me me me me me me me me Monday!

Being the retiring, shy, non-self-aggrandizing dog that I am, it has been difficult for me to generate this post.
However, in the interests of illuminating and enlightening my readers I will offer the following.

Yes, I do know that is my own tail I am chasing, I am having fun chasing it thank you very much, and don't give me any crap, I have seen what you human types get up to for the purposes of fun.
Yes, you dumbasses, I can see color, sheesh, you think you are so smart.
Yes, we know, we ALL know you all are screw ups, but we still love you.



Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. -Ann Landers

A little something for the ladies...and the men

Just to affirm what we all know already, I submit for your perusal a list, or two.

Top Ten Reasons Why Dogs Are Better Than Men
10. Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
9. Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.
8. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
7. Dogs think you are a culinary genius.
6. You can house train a dog.
5. Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
4. Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
3. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
2. Dogs don't care whether or not you shave your legs.
1. Dogs obsess about you as much as you obsess about them.


The Top Ten Reasons Why a Dog Is Better than a Woman.
10. A dog's parents will never visit you.
9. A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.
8. A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.
7. A dog never expects you to telephone.
6. A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.
5. A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life.
4. A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog.
3. A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day.
2. The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.
1. A dog does not shop.