Hope you cubists are having a good week and the rest of us too! Here is some good advice for you, juuuuuust in case.
If you are so blessed as to return to earth as a dog in your next life, don't forget these tips!
1. The garbage collector is not stealing your stuff.
2. You do not actually need to suddenly stand straight up when lying under the coffee table.
3. Don't roll your toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed.
4. Shake the rainwater out of your fur BEFORE entering the house.
5. Don't eat the cats' food, before they eat it or after they throw it up.
6. Don't try to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when you are about to get sick.
7. Don't throw up in the car.
8. Don't roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because you like the way they smell.
9. Don't eat Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
10. Don't chew your human's toothbrush and not tell them.
11. Don't chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or people will think you're hemorrhaging.
12 If you do not have a doorbell, don't bark each time you hear one on TV.
13. Don't steal mom's underwear and prance all over the backyard with them.
14 Your head does not belong in the refrigerator.
15. Don't growl at the nice officer when he reaches in for dad's driver's license and car registration.
16. Don't play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
17. Don't play "roll around in the dirt" after just getting a bath.
18. Sticking your nose into someone's crotch is not regarded as an acceptable way to say hello.
19. Don't sit in the middle of the living room and lick your crotch when company is over.
20. The cat is not a squeaky toy so if you play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good sign.