They also serve...

Places I spent more than 5 minutes waiting in line yesterday:
1. The pharmacy (drop off prescription) I didn't see this coming, aaaaaw, look at the sweet old man who can't decide which brand of rubber gloves he needs and the nice clerk taking her time with him. Isn't that precious?
2. The library (pick up books on hold) Why is there a line this long at the library for goodness sake?
3. The post office (mail Lime and Snav the Christmas presents I bought them over a month ago, I hate to rush into things without time to give it the proper consideration and I THOUGHT I would be missing the lines that snake clear out the lobby to the front door, wrong again!!)
4. The dollar store, IT'S THE DOLLAR STORE PEOPLE, why are there that many of you buying THAT much crap at the dollar store?!?! (I picked up water bottles, snack cracker packets, necessities of life for car trips, and a toy Thing One desperately needed, a wooden snake)
5. The grocery store, ok, that's it, I am officially annoyed, why, why do they have self check lanes if they are not going to be open?? You people with too many items in the express lanes should be killed and if you don't know which phone number your discount card is attached to, GO GET ANOTHER ONE and quit holding up the line!!!
6. The main stop light in town, are you fricking kidding me?? Why in bloody blue blazes is there this much traffic? Green means GOOOOO!
7. The pharmacy (pick up script) Take Two, is there a hidden camera somewhere? Is this an elaborate joke??Its a teeny pharmacy, there are pharmacies all over, how can ALL of you possibly be in line here?? OK, fine, whatever.
"Stop touching, stop it, do you want to go back to the car? Then stop it, straighten up. Stop harrassing your brother. Stop THAT!! Have you two lost your minds? Am I taking crazy pills? Go, go now, back to the car, buckle in and don't even look at each other. No breathing, you hear me? Go." (wait wait wait)
"Well of course you have to confirm with my doctor, that only makes sense, no, its fine, I'd absolutely love to come back tomorrow and wait in line a third time. Nothing would give me a greater sense of fulfillment, ta ta now, have a truly lovely evening, thanks, and may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits."
Time spent- two and a half hours.
Accomplishments- 30 minutes worth of errands
Stray things I thought about to distract myself -
1. Cultural differerences in line waiting; Americans tend to not look at each other or talk much, stand at a distance of a couple feet and rarely attend to cut a line. The esteemed elder sister and I were discussing this not too long ago and how Americans in line appear to just be standing around to people from some cultures because of the enormous gaps we leave.
2. People really ought to comb their hair before going out into public. Now, I know some of us have hair that just tends toward disorder, but some people are just not bothering at all. In case any of those people were wondering, Yes, we can tell.
3. Smokers stink, well, at any rate the one behind me in line did, peeee yoooo
4. People on cell phones in public spaces should use their "inside voice."
5. People who don't pull over for ambulances should be flogged, at minimum
6. Fat girls should avoid short shirts, especially in January when there is no possible excuse for them. The muffin top effect is not pretty, and really, a sweater would be appropriate in this weather. Why, why would you do that? Is it confidence? lack of self awareness? Could you actually be unaware that rolls of excess flesh are sticking out? Does it not bother you? You are covered in goosebumps, why are you not wearing more clothes? Did you have a house fire and all you saved was your summer wardrobe? What possibly made you think this was a good idea, oh dear gawd, please don't bend over like that, oh dear. Why, why?!"
7. Just for fun, sometimes I mispronounce words. Its entertaining to watch people as they try to decide if they should correct me, for example.
Queue; I like to say it "quoo" or "kee-oo-ee" The inane giggling doesn't help convince people you know how to say it correctly.

I've mostly recovered now though, which is good because I have to go BACK to the pharmacy today.