Tuesday, July 17, 2007

My latest trip this summer

Ok, well, maybe not a trip so much as a slide.
It turns out Thing Two shares my affection for citrus based scents. He was quite enjoy the fagrance of the new bottle of Pledge I purchased today.
If you can't guess what happened next, clearly you are missing at least two of the following:
1. An imagination,
2. Childhood memories,
3. Experience reading this blog,
4. Boy children.
The discovery of a certain slickness on the floor followed, much to their glee.
Now, I do not hold this against them. Despite not encouraging this realization, or actively instructing them in creative furniture polish uses I have to confess, I myself was known to do this same thing. A LOT.
In fact, my friend Tiffany and I discovered that thoroughly spraying your socks was the most effective method and least likely to result in all your clothes stinking and therefore getting in trouble. At about age 10 I actually ripped a ligament lose in my upper left arm engaging in some stellar sliding in this enormous assembly hall. It was huge and you could get some serious distance in there! But I digress...
The POINT is,
I don't like those children anymore.
No, really, I don't.
Don't try and talk me out of it either.
They are horrid little boys.
You want to know how horrid they really and truly are?
They LAUGH at the disabled, the wounded,
the not-quite-middle-aged-but-certainly-not-as-young-as-they-once-were who might sprawl in enormous suprise, perhaps even a touch of shock and mild discomfort of the backside and the pride in the middle of a kitchen floor!
Heartless BEASTS!
I'm actually quite fine and it's possible my theatrics were partially to blame for the extended hilarity but really, they should ask if I'm ok before they laugh their asses off!


bsoholic said...


I'm sure you'll find the perfect time and reason to get back at 'em. ;)

Dorky Dad said...




Are you OK?

lime said...

i am sooooo not letting my son read this post....nope, no way!

The Grunt said...

Slip sliding away. I think Lemon Pledge works better than the Axe effect.

goldennib said...

I hate dusting, so when forced as a child, I would secretly spray the floor with Pledge and watch the fun.

Em said...

OMG..too funny. Floor slip and slide...a great way to have fun. Oh...yeah, I hope you are okay, too. And too bad you hate the kids now, but they had a good run in your house. I'm sure they'll find someone to take them in.

ARM said...

OMG...I"m not laughing. I swear. I'm not. Nope...not even a little snort. Such bad boys.

Hope you're OK!!

Logophile said...

BS~ Oh you KNOW it is true.

Dorky Dad~ Thanks, yah, I'm fine, so glad you could enjoy this moment.

Lime~ Good call

Grunty~ Does on some, that's for sure

Goldennib~ The mom slipping in this case was not so much intentional as just a byproduct so I let them live...this time.

Em~ I've asked around a little and it seems like I might be stuck with them, ya know, they are past the warranty period and all. Oh well, Im used to them now

Arm~ I'm glad you are with me on this one. :p Oh yeah, Im fine, no worries

egan said...

Perhaps I will bite my tongue.

G said...


I'm sorry, you're okay right? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Good work Things.

G said...

You are okay? I meant good work on using your imagination Things, not on tripping up your beloved Mom!

Hoo, that gave me a good laugh. Sorry.

G said...

I'm back and then I'll go. See I haven't commented in such a while, I have to get it all in.

I'm just wondering what other kind of children a lovely red headed devil such as yourself would have? It all makes perfect sense.

neva said...

G took the words AND the laughter right outta my mouth.


oh wait... no she didn't.

ya know, my boy children are significantly older than yours, and yet i can't WAIT to show them this "trick". (truth be told, i've been sliding across the floor in my socks for years... but never with as much, um, lemony zest as i suspect i'll have once i purchase another can of Pledge.) : )

neva said...

oh... and you ARE okay, aren't you?



(sorry, it couldn't be helped) : )

S said...

When I lived in Alaska, we had wood stairs...we waxed them once so we could scoot down on our butts.

I said ONCE!
We just about killed our dad....


Did you know I love lemon too and so does Hannah...but not lemon polish, lemon drops, lemon cake, lemon cookies, lemonade...etc

Candace said...

This is the real reason I need wood flooring. Shhh. Don't tell MuNKi. }:-)

So I assume you were engaged in voluntary sliding? ^_^ Cool!

TLP said...

I'm not laughing. Nope not a bit. *tee hee*

Melliferous Pants said...

I discovered the smell of hair perm solution when I was five-years-old. Pledge is a close second.

brookem said...

i love that pants just mentioned hair perm solution! i LOVE pledge!
glad you're okay!

Logophile said...

Egan~ Not too hard I hope.

G~ :P yeah, I'm completely fine, and it is pretty funny. They are entertaining Things, it must be admitted.

Neva~ It is good fun that is funny! And yes, I'm completely fine, not a single scratch or bruise. Have fun slip sliding away!

Susie~ I love lemon, and verbena too, mmmmm, even had Mr. Logo make a lemon cake for my birfday. Waxing wooden stairs, yah, I can see how your dad might not have appreciated that. :p

Candace~ Well, the first time, no. I put the smell and the slipperiness together about a millisecond before my feet came out from under me. It is kinda fun though :p

Lucy Pez~ You're not foolin' me!

Pants~ Oh man, remember those Ogilvy home perms? They smelled all chemical fruity and the smell lasted for days! My mom and sis would do those and wow, the house smelled for days!

Brookem~ Doing well and yeah, as a kid I would offer to take the dusting when mom was handing out chores because in addition to sliding through the kitchen I also just loved the smell of Pledge.

Balou said...

Oh ouch! Falling on our asses now isn't as fun as it used to be. ;)

Ever notice that no matter how much care you take to avoid Pledge spray landing on the floor, it always sneaks by and makes the slippery spot?

Ann(ie) said...

heeeeheeeeeeeeeee! I'm going to wish for my second child to be a girl. Two boys might be trouble!! And girls are nicer to their mama's even though require more shoes.

Logophile said...

Balou~ It's true, my bottom is not as bouncy as once was I think.

Ann~ Two boys are definitely trouble but when you put it that way, I'll take the two boys over the extended shopping trips. :p