Saturday, May 05, 2007

Contest Entries

Here are the entries awaiting your vote. The winner will be determined by simple majority of votes in the comment section of this post. Voting is open through midnight (PST) Monday, May 7. Voting is restricted to contestants and previous commenters of this blog; although anyone is more than welcome to express appreciation.
The winner will be announced Tuesday and the Mini Stonehenge will be mailed forthwith (as in, as soon as I get to it).

Here ya are!


Nigel once told us in song
the sun never sweats
always think larger than 'henge

Oh for those stones

to make them me owns

I'd sound like the Irish

Or give you this kitsch

I don't know about particle strings and I don't like haiku

I'm nice, and so can't talk about a wild romp with you

But really I'm smart and somewhat quite clever

That stonehenge I want as bad as forever

I'm feinin' and jonesin' I want it real bad

But this is my problem, my jeremiad

I'm stuck in this class that I have to teach

Creativity is out of my reach

Time will expireand I'll be left



All words she finds delicious

my sweet west coast friend

Tis why she's Logolicious



There once was a chick named Logo
Who chased women down on a pogo

She bounced up and down
Like a silly red-haired clown

Shouting "Oh where, oh where did that Ho go?"


I heard her long before I saw her. Her approach was heralded by the gradually increasingly loud roar of a motorcycle. Then, as if from a dream she burst from the fog and stopped the snarling beast of a machine a mere inches from my trembling frame.
She was a vision of most beguiling beauty. Her red hair was blazing and bright, not unlike the flames of a burning chemical plant. Her alabaster skin was flawless almost as if she was a statue come to life. Her breasts were golden globes of pulsating and undulating magnificence, rising and falling almost in unison. Her wondrous child-bearing hips were…
“Beware, mortal!” she bellowed, “Gaze not upon my golden globes of pulsating and undulating magnificence that are rising and falling almost in unison, lest I strike you down and force you to eat several jars of pickles!”
“A thousand pardons, M’lady,” I stammered as I quickly averted my eyes. “It is just that I have never…well…you are so…I mean…”“Silence, you fool!” she bellowed (she obviously liked to bellow. "My husband reads this blog and if he catches you staring at me like that he will snap you like a twig, for he is a Burly He-Man and a Snappy Dresser!"
"I beg your forgiveness, Oh Fetching One," I managed.
"What?" she bellowed, "Did you say FELTCHING?"
"No, no!" I exclaimed, "Fetching, I said fetching! May I ask who you are?"
“I am the incomparable Logophile," she proclaimed, "The Tutankhamen of Trivia, the Mistress of Minutia, The Sultaness of Senseless Knowledge"
I immediately lay down in the street. "Ravage me!" I begged.
She laughed heartily, stepped down off the motorcycle, and kicked me between the legs. And as I lay there, curled up in a fetal position, sobbing, I am pretty sure she poured a bottle of tepid Mountain Dew on my head. Either that or she peed on me.
And then she was gone.

It was a dark, stormy, summer night. I was curled up in my chofa (not a chair, not a sofa…a chofa) trying to read with my cat planted comfortably on my lap. Mr. ARM had just left to go out of town for the weekend on a camping trip with his buddies. I liked having the house to myself, but with the storm, my overactive imagination was working overtime. Every sound inside the house and out made me tense up and I kept imagining myself falling victim to some horrific scenario.

After a particularly loud clap of thunder that made my cat jump off my lap and hide under the coffee table, my phone started ringing. I thought it was Mr. ARM checking in after arriving at his friend’s house before they left for their camping excursion. But I was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by the wonderful Logo.

“ARM!” She exclaimed when I answered the phone. “Pack your bags and get on the next flight to Vegas.”

“Wha?…who?…wait,” I stuttered, “Vegas?”

“Yes! Vegas!” she exclaimed. “You. Me. This weekend. You said Mr. ARM was out of town & Mr. Logo offered to stay at home with the Things. So? You game?”

I was already out of my chofa and in my room trying to find my bag and looking through my pile of laundry sitting in the basket on the floor of my room. Thankfully I had done some laundry earlier that day, so I actually had clean clothes. “Ok,” I said, “let’s do it…but, what are we going to do?”

“That’s the wrong question to ask, silly girl,” I could tell Logo was shaking her head on the other end of the phone. “The question is: ‘what aren’t we doing to do?’”

I laughed. “Ok, I’m in, but whatever you have planned better include lots of drinks with umbrellas, lots of shopping, lots of gossip, and the boys from Thunder from Down Under as eye candy.”

“Don’t you worry,” she laughed in her “I’ve got something crazy planned” laugh. “Just be there.”

Oh, to have life's rich and giving source to fall upon my face.
How succulent it be, the nurturing pillow upon which I wish to find comfort.
Perchance, I will be blessed with its serendipitous presence in an unexpected setting.
Yea, thine will be done.
Feel free to comment on whatever you like, including Mr. Logo's fabulous new hat,
innit he a snappy dresser?
Then if you will please make your vote very clear at the end of your comment I will be very appreciative. Thank you!


lime said...

mr logog's snappy bowler could only be enhanced by a red white and black sirt in a newspaper print pattern...alas, you no longer own is so he shall be doomed to a blander attire.

and i cast my vote for dorky dad.

Claire said...

I vote for wreckless.

Mr. Fabulous said...

Well, I am going to vote for myself so I'll have at least one vote...

Em said...

Close call between The Grunt and Dorky Dad. I'll vote for Dorky Dad.

S said...

I clearly vote for myself. Anyone who knows Stonehenge will see the genius of my rebel haiku! :P

Jocelyn said...

I'm going to have to vote for Wreckless, for the use of the word "jeremiad." Wow.

But Dorky Dad's incredibly original verse form just about had me.

yerdoingitwrong said...

Gotta go with Dorky Dad!!

S said...

Where is Nevas post?

snavy said...

Mr. Logo looks simply smashing.

Logophile said...

Lime~ Its sad really that he will have so little pazzazz in his life. One vote for Dorky Dad, got it.

Claire~ One vote for Wreckless, thank you ma'am.

Mr. Fab~ One vote for you, counted.

Em~ Second vote for Dorky dad, that Grunt is a funny man, is he not?

Susie~ One vote for you, and yes, the genius of your rebel haiku is clear to all, I just know it.

Jocelyn~ Second vote for Wreckless, that was impressive, I agree.

Annie~ Third vote for the limmerick by Dorky Dad, got it.

Susie~ Well, she sang Spinal Tap lyrics to me (funny woman) so I didn't include as a finalist but her very clever choice is in the comments of the post below.

Snavy~ I much prefer the bowler to the mutton chops that were making their debut about this time yesterday.

ARM said...

Um, yeah - I'm voting for meself. Would be rather silly not to, wouldn't it? (although...there is some funny shit up there!)

The Grunt said...

Yowza! What a pair!!!

Have I won yet?

Last question: Whom do those belong to and what is her number?

Rusty Nails said...

I cast my vote for Mr. Fab. His created quite the mental image; especially the fetal position part and operation golden flow. HA!

Gawpo said...

I am with Rusty Nails. I have to vote for Mr. Fab. I always have to vote for Mr. Fab. Even if Mr. Fab's entry were, "I don't really have anything witty or clever to contribute," I would vote for him. And since that's pretty much what he's saying with this entry, I prove my point. I vote for him. I vote for Mr. Fab.

Balou said...

They were all fun but my vote is for Mr. Fab. Only thing missing is the visual pages of the graphic novel.

Logophile said...

Amanda~ One vote for your ownself, check, a wise choice.

Grunt~ Sorry, google image from a search for "cleavage." Didn't list a name and phone number.

Mr. Logo~ A second vote for Mr. Fab, as you wish.

Gawpo~ A sideways slap and a vote for Mr. Fab, bringing his total to three.

Balou~ A fourth vote for Mr. Fab, thank you ma'am.

wreckless said...

I'm voting for the underdog-Wreckless.
Speaking of Underdog, what a sweeeeet cartoon character. With one little pill maybe he could swoop in a save Stonehenge for me and nobody but me...I'm sounding a little Simon Bar Sinister-BTW

wreckless said...

Hey, by the way, The bowler and shades is a pretty dapper look.
I would recommend him for a post at the Sartorialist's blog.
Hey while, I'm here can I get another vote in for that Wreckless guy?
Hey, a guy's gotta try. Its hard going up against great writing, clever words like Logolicious, and mammary glands. How can a guy compete with that?

Breazy said...

this was a really great idea Logo and fun too. Sorry I missed out!

I can't make up my mind on who to vote for so I am going to sit back and watch. I like Mr. Logo's hat! He looks nice!

goldennib said...

Mr. Logo is most definitely a spiffy dresser. That hat is the bomb.

I don't know who to vote for and it's mega hard cause I know so many of the entrants. And the offerings are all too good to choose amongsted. What to do, what to do?

Blither said...

Well, First!
I'd like to let you know I did try to comment back when you posted the Stone Henge Mini Whatnot. BUT seeing as I'm sucking off my neighbors WiFi I kept and keep crashing... Hence no message.
Hopefully this one goes through.
I was really flustered too (and still am).
Okay, Second!
I'd like to say I HEART SNAVY and SUZY!!! And EVERYONE Else...
But seeing as Egan did post first...
On the last post...
He should probably win...
It's the fact that I can't pick between friends so I pick him.
(I like the "...'s")

Cheers, Ms Logo!

egan said...

Darn, I didn't win.

Logophile said...

Wreckless~ A third vote for you, a wise choice, sir, well done. I'm a big fan of Underdog myself. I do think he looks pretty sharp as well and nice try with double ballots, this isn't Florida, ya know!

Breazy~ Women go crazy for a sharp dressed man, I heard that somewhere :p

Goldennib~ Oh come ON, pick one of 'em! I think he looks good too.

Blither~ Thank goodness for neighbors with Wifi! Thank you for that unbiased support of everyone, you are a sweetie, mwah!

Egan~ You just can't catch a break, you poor, poor thing

ARM said...

Goldennib - you don't really know me, so for you to not feel bad for having to choose between people you know, you should clearly vote for me.

I know I have no chance against Mr. Fab's hilarious story, but make me feel good.

Candace said...

I hear Thomas Crown music when I look at Mr. Logo in that hat. Is he going to buy a Big Apple to suspend in front of his face?

goldennib said...

Arm: Do you work in PR or are you a politician?

ARM said...

goldennib: Ha! Nope neither - just really pathetic. Although, that would probably qualify me for a job in either field (no offense to any PR or politicians out there...just sayin').

cathy said...

I would have voted for susie to make up for not liking Rufus but everything is a bit pearshaped at home so I missed out on all the fun, didn't even manage to enter the competition:(