Tuesday, November 01, 2005

They taking me to the vet...again!

As if it were not bad enough I had to go to the vet a couple weeks ago, they are taking me AGAIN.
I have a lump on the ridge of my back leg, right near the top of the muscle.
IT IS NOT MY ASS; HOWEVER, knowing the human affection for rear end humor, I thought I would share some with you.
A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."
9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"10. "
If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
AND FINALLY
(drum roll and cymbal crash.....)
13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

11 comments:

barefoot_mistress said...

Eekkk! Poor Ariella, hope it's not time for the anal expressing thing....EWWWW!!!

bsoholic said...

Yikes! Stoopid vet, maybe he'll give you a treat or something after the scary stuff.

Breazy said...

Awwwww I hope every thing goes well at the vet. LMAO @ your jokes . Put a sign on your bum that reads "Exit Only" before going to the vet.

The Village Idiot said...

Guess I need to go to the doc to get my note about the true position of my head

Ariella said...

OK, we have returned, the lump on my THIGH muscle is from my rabies shot. Should go away on its own.
All is well, desist from worrying over my health and just focus on enjoying the anal humor.

Kyahgirl said...

ROTFL at No. 13.
Ariella, you are one funny gal.
Glad to hear your lump is easily explained.

Lily said...

Glad to hear it was just from your rabies shots... maybe I can use that excuse for being lumpy.

mireille said...

hey sweetstuff, glad to hear you are ok. I was thinking about you (and not just your rearend) xoxo, Bucky

The Village Idiot said...

Loved loved loved the last one, said he, who is oft accused of having his head up...

uh, yeah, um, sorry. got carried away.
the idiot

The Village Idiot said...

Um, you don't have pictures showing, so I should mention that this is the east coast idiot, (as opposed to the west coast idiot).
I'm the one that kicks it old school, no, hold it, that's someone else...

um, i'll get back to you.
the idiot

snavy said...

LMAO - no pun intended!!!