This and that and some of that other stuff over there.

Here is a picture of Thing One and Thing Two playing Monopoly Jr. with their grandmama. The parental units of the AF came for the weekend. The Aged Ps, as she refers to them, are wonderful houseguests; they entertain the children, they do the dishes, they cook, they clean. They really ought to come more often.

In the next picture, in the background, you see the Aged P (XY version) and the Alpha Male in the kitchen. The AM made an absolutely fabulous lemon meringue pie but that is not my main point. See the sign above my head?

This is displayed for it's supposed entertainment and nostalgia value. It reads, "No thieves, fakirs, rogues or tinkers, no skulking loafers or flea-bitten tramps. No slap and tickle of the wenches, no banging of tankards of the tables, no dogs in the kitchen, no cockfighting."
Now, we don't have alot of roving tinkers, fakirs, fighting cocks, or flea-bitten tramps, so there is no relevance there, BUT
I have seen some slapping and tickling, those darn kids would bang ANYTHING on EVERYTHING, so why, why, why do they insist I should stay out of the kitchen??
And now for something completely different.
Some of you may recall this photo...This is the sort of heinous filth the AM insists on purchasing and consuming from time to time. Emeril and Alton Brown would not approve, I am sure of it. Below you see the sort of thing the AF feeds the Things.
No sugar, no white flour... why would you do that to children? And last but not least, a joke about another clever dog, passed on to me by BS.

Talking Dog for Sale

A guy sees a sign in front of a house "Talking Dog for Sale."
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard.
The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the mutt replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The mutt looks up and says "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leader, cause no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
The owner says "Ten dollars."
The guy says he'll buy him but asks the owner,
"This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him?"
The owner replies, "Because he's such a complete liar."