A recipe for you all

I have something everyone wants,

the perfect recipe.

It never fails, never.

And I, due to my generous nature, am willing to to share it with you.

I am a giver.

Alright,

You have paper?

You have a pencil?

Printer at the ready?

Here we go!

Recipe for Disaster

Take one situation

add Logo

Mix vigorously

I sense some may doubt, so let me tell you about a couple things that have happened in the last twenty-four hours.

I went for a ride with Thing One on the Harley. We stopped to get gas.

The Harley has a locking gas cap that hates me. It would not open.

I called on my cell phone to get instructions, I was told to do what I had already BEEN doing. Moments before my head imploded the stupid thing finally came loose. Then we got to the bakery late so we ended up going somewhere else, where the service was S-L-O-W and we got to the library 5 minutes after they closed.

Grrr

Today I went to the gas station to get gas for my new mower.

I pulled up and went in to pay the nice lil old lady. After she managed to figure out how to ring me up I went out to get the gas can from the mom-mobile and THEN I attempted to unscrew the lid. It had evidently been superglued in place. I made sure the vents were open and tried again, nothing. I asked the guy pumping gas across from me for help, he couldn't get it open either. Just then my cell phone rang so I politely inquired as to which power tool had been used to secure the cap. After another eon of struggling with the *&#%ing thing another nice man came over and offered to help. He finally got it open and with many thanks and a sigh of relief I turned to the pump which was no longer willing to give me any gas. I went BACK into the station where the LOVELY woman finally figured it out. Twenty minutes to fill a gas can, does that seem excessive to anyone ELSE?

Grrrr

NEXT, I went to the store, where the stack of shopping baskets by the door attempted to befuddle and intimidate me. I finally got one and despite having nearly clocked some guy with it when it finally sprang loose I carried on with my shopping.

Card machines are prejudice against me. For some reason, despite the fact I use a DEBIT card it will only run as a CREDIT card. It says on the front of it "Debit Card" so I am constantly having to debate the point with clerks. I do so love that.

Grrrrrrr

So, finally, I got my groceries bagged and headed for the door.

As I walked toward the sliding glass doors suddenly the grocery bag in my left hand got much lighter.

The edge of the box of bin liners had slit the bag and my box of liners and my carton of eggs were now lying on the floor.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Oh no, thank YOU!

There was a very nice managerial person who fetched me a new bag and a fresh carton of eggs and they sent me on my way with many apologies. In a way this merely reinforced my inclination to bring my canvas shopping bags with me to the store but on the other hand. I can't help but think perhaps there is a cosmic plot.

Last week, same thing.

While attempting to put gas in the motorcycles on a family ride, my pump wouldn't work...

until Mr Logo came along and then it worked fine.

I would worry about my karma but it isn't ever people. People are wonderful to me. It is just the stupid fricking inanimate objects. Maybe in a previous life I ignored a queaky wheel.

WARNING!! NAUGHTY PICTURES AGAIN! ALARM, ALARM!

NO, REALLY, I AM NOT KIDDING, SERIOUS PORN AHEAD, DELICATE SOULS TURN BACK NOW.

ALRIGHT THEN,

DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!

OK Grunt, as requested here is a pic of a tit mouse, tufted even.

And here is a great shot of my boobies

Bluefooted boobies,

aren't they gorgeous?

Since he asked, I decided to go ahead and post a picture of this too.
Alright, I know it was all a big tease,

so here,

a picture of some pussy...willows.

I feel so dirty now.

Flash Fiction Friday

A story in 55 words

(as counted by MSN Word, any complaints about word count should be forwarded directly to Bill Gates)

He closed his eyes and willed his muscles to relax as the wave crashed over him, his cold, cruel mistress lashing him. Days of anticipation and rides on the crest of ecstasy were a counterpoint to times like this, when he knew death was moments away. Once he caught his breath, he'd be ready again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This whole flash fiction thing is mostly Susie's idea.

Feel free to write one of your own if you like.

Also, if you have a question for next week's quiz please e-mail it along with 4 possible answers and the correct one marked to logophile_mania@yahoo.com

NO MORE poetry question though, I think we all need a break.

Also, if you have an interesting website or something, share with us, please!

Happy Weekend to you weekday bloggers, see you on the flip side.

HNT~ Playing with my cam

I have discovered the solarize function, fun stuff!

Blinds and the solarize function is great stuff too.

Digicams are so FUN!

Also,

and Grunt, Crystal, here ya go!
Some kind soul e-mailed me this URL last time I posted a pic.

I thought I would share with you all.

First, here is a picture of my Easter tree for my friend Minka

Here is the tree with the eggs, candy and such.
Here is Thing One practicing his ability to shoot things.

I am so very proud.

Here is one of my tulips, spring is sprung.
This is Thing Two with his first ever pinewood derby racer.

Here is Thing One's car and trophy for 3rd place in speed.

The Aged Ps came and spent the night with us and cheered the Things and their cars. Good times had by all.

The weather has been gorgeous, and we have been spending alot of time outside.

Here are the Things and Ariella as they attempt to recover from the death march they were forced to endure. They had been walking at least a good fifteen minutes at this point.

Oh, the humanity.

Last we have a little something Mr. Logo brought home from the store.

Which made me think of my friend Barefoot

(who has a fun music game for you today).

Not only is it named for her but is also from her neck of the woods.

Not the best wine evah in the whole wide world, but very presentable.

Also not too expensive and great for cooking.

Tuesday Trivia

Yay for Tan Lucy Pez, our winner last week with 90!
Second place went to The Idiot and Doug was third.
Congratulations to you three.
Oh, and this is the last Tuesday in April,
will you all be sad to see an end to the poetry triv?

I shall now subject you to some quote by one of my favorite poets.
~~~~~~~~~~
Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator,
but among those whom I love, I can:
all of them make me laugh.
~~~~~~~~~~
Desire, even in its wildest tantrums, can neither persuade me it is love nor stop me from wishing it were.
~~~~~~~~~~
No opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible.
~~~~~~~~~~
We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know.
~~~~~~~~~~
To save your world you asked this man to die; Would this man, could he see you now, ask why?
Epitaph for an Unknown Soldier
~~~~~~~~~~
W. H. Auden


And on that note,
Your quiz awaits...

ACK, the last question of the quiz contains a wrong answer.
Sorry, the quiz writer clicked the wrong "W____" name.
My abject apologies. It was late, I was on Niquil, the sun was spotting, the ionosphere was billowing, etc. etc.

OK, so maybe it IS lame, but

I am doing a meme.
Feel free to skip it, go straight to comments and tell me what you had for beakfast instead,
it's your thang, do what you wanna do...
------------------------
3 Names U go By:
Mom,
Logo,
Honey

3 Screen Names U Have Had:
Wakko,
Dot,
Logophile

3 Things U Like about Yourself:
I am kind to animals,
I usually smell good,
I can count

3 Things U Don’t Like about Yourself:
My post-accident body can't do the things I'd like,
When deeply absorbed in something I ignore everything and everyone else,
Alternately, I can sometimes be very easily distracted

3 Parts of Your Heritage:
Welsh,
Swedish,
Norwedian

3 Things that Scare U:
Clowns,
carnies,
crocodiles

3 of Your Everyday Essentials:
Tea,
internet,
sarcasm

3 Things U are Wearing Right Now:
Gray fleece hoodie,
jammy pants,
purple nail polish

3 of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists:
Barenaked Ladies,
Sarah Brightman,
Michael Buble

3 of Your Favorite Songs:
At the moment...
Breathe~ Anna Nalick
I Want to Break Free~ Queen
Feeling Good ~ Michael Buble

3 Things U Want to Try in the Next 12 Months:
A weekend at a spa
A cruise to Alaska
A fitness goal of some sort, maybe a 5K or something.

3 Things You Want in a Relationship:
An honest meeting of hearts and minds,
unquestioning compliance to my every whim,
fresh minty breath

2 Truths and a Lie:
I have never watched Titanic.
I have sent two postcards to PostSecrets.
I had a princess party for my 35th birthday.

3 Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to U:
Clever mind,
kind heart,
trustworthiness

3 Things about the Same Sex that Appeal to U:
Intelligence,
compatible sense of humor,
sparkly eyes

3 Things U Just Cannot Do:
Pronounce "confiscate" without extreme concentration and/or multiple attempts,
sleep with socks on,
do a cartwheel

3 of Your Favorite Hobbies:
Reading,
motorcycle riding,
blogging

3 Things U Want to do Really Bad Right Now:
Change all the "U"s to "You"s in this meme
get a Yamaha V Star,
take a nap

3 Careers U are Considering:
Astronaut,
Jello Wrestler
Librarian

3 Places You Want to Go on Vacation:
Peru,
St. Lucia,
France

3 Kid’s Names:
Hilda Otilda (which is what we told people we would name any daughters)
Bubba
Hortense

3 Things U Want to Do Before U Die:
Meet my great-grandkids
Figure out what the heck IS my problem
Make a difference

3 Ways U are Stereotypically a Boy:
I don't like to shop,
I don't like pink,
I am not a huge fan of sentimentality

3 Ways U are Stereotypically a Chick:
I don't like rodents, reptiles, or icky stuff
I like hair stuff, make-up, and pedicures
I don't carry them often, but I love bags (purses and totes)

3 Celeb Crushes:
John Stewart,
Ira Flatow,
John Cusack

3 People U Would Like to Complete This Quiz:
That one blogger, you know, the funny one.
And you there, yeah, you, the good looking one.
And the queen of cool (or eye goo, as the case may be), Susie.

Sing, sing a song

The hours grow shorter as the days go by
You never get to stop and open your eyes
One day you're waiting for the sky to fall
The next you're dazzled by the beauty of it all
When you're lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
These fragile bodies of touch and taste
This fragrant skin -- this hair like lace
Spirits open to the thrust of grace
Never a breath you can afford to waste
When you're lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
When you're lovers in a dangerous time
Sometimes you're made to feel as if your love's a crime
--But nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight --
Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight
When you're lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
And we're lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time.
------------------------
The Barenaked Ladies

This cover contains some words I find myself referring to often
"Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight, Got to kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight."

Keep kickin!

for Grunt and Crystal

(ass all gone now)

So,Chica, feel better now?

It's Saturday

Today we have a baseball game for Thing Two and I will be finishing up mowing the lawn.
I thought I would share a little humor from Irwin Barker.

If you go for a hike in Canada there are brochures from the Parks Department to advise you about what to do if you are approached by a bear. That is a very Canadian turn of phrase, "approached by a bear, " it makes it sound like he might just be checking in about how you like the accomodations. But if a bear approaches you they suggest you play dead. They also advise you to carry a cell phone so you can call in case of emergency.

"Hello? Help! I'm being approached by a bear!"

"Hello, thank you for calling the Parks department. If you are being approached by a bear please press one now. Your life threatening emergency is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received. For faster service, please check our website at www dot savagemauling dot com.

55 Friday

For the last several weeks on Friday I have been doing Flash Fiction (or nano fiction) over at Susie's blog.
The 55 Friday originated over here.
The idea is that the fiction should have exactly 55 words, at least one discernable character and a storyline.
------------
She felt the pressure building inside her.
She tingled, her body was ready, crying out for release.
Her breathing became more rapid and her eyes closed.
Her spine arched, as a huge gasp of air filled her lungs.
Her face contorted and she gave voice to her satisfaction.
It felt so very good to sneeze.
------------
It is possible my cold influenced my topic choice.
So there ya have it, wax eloquent or something.

HNTeeth

Well, this Wednesday the Things and I headed to the dentist for our bi-annual check-up and cleaning. It was wonderful to watch the aquarium in the waiting room, but since we were late due to traffic we did not have to watch the fish very long.

The boys were escorted to meet their hygenist where Thing Two took the chair rolling his eyes at the anxieties of his elder brother and I went off to my own little chamber of torture. Actually, I did not go to the dentist much as a kid. Whenever I do go however, they are always very pleased. One of my dentists told me I have the kind of mouth that would put him out of business. I have strong, healthy teeth and gums. Today the hygenist referred to me as her "special treat for the day." I am a quick, easy clean and never have cavities. The one downside was that due to the onset of a cold I was having trouble breathing through my nose. Mouth breathing during a dental visit can be difficult if not downright impossible. I nearly drown in floride treatment gel.

After being congratulated by the dentist for my superlative teeth I headed over to see how the Things were doing. Thing Two was done and had been spoken to sternly about his lax brushing.

Thing One was just headed to bathroom to clean the vomit off his clothing.

Turns out he had a nice strong gag reflex.

Good thing he is cute, cuz, man, that kid is trouble every which way.

We were all dismissed being free of cavities although they are both in need of sealants.

I am blaming their teeth on their father, clearly that didn't come from me.

The meme that was a you-you

When I posted the 101 Things About Me list last month I made a wonderful discovery.
Through some sort of incredibly complicated international incident I was evidently separated before birth
(this may explain my affection for Rick Mercer, This Hour Has 22 Minutes is genius, who wouldn't love it and Made in Canada was great stuff, plus the theme was by The Tragically Hip. I wish I still got CBC, so sad, but I digress)
from my sister, Kyahgirl, who just had a birthday!

Here are the things from the list we have in common.
--------------
4 My mom was a registered nurse
5 I have an older sister
30 I also drink coffee
31 I am an information junkie
32 I love learning new things
33 I do alot of reading
46 I am a fan of Dave Sedaris
50 I already have the next book I am going to read
54 I spend alot of time on line, probably too much, but we are not opening a poll on that question
55 I don't watch very much TV
56 I fix our computer issues, do the appliance programming and occasionally get called on to assist others but refuse to regard myself as a techie, or geek or whatever.
57 This is mostly because I know some actual techheads and I am nowhere near their level of expertise...or geekiness
58 I have voted in every election since I turned 18
60 I am left handed79 I am ever so slightly clumsy (you might have already concluded that)
82 I don't have a poker face
83 I love playing trivia games
85 I love being married, and I love him
91 I get a lil crazy if I don't get to spend enough time by myself
92 I tend to forget birthdays, anniversaries and appointments
94 I find zoos depressing
95 I can't knit, crochet, or sew. I don't cook and I hate shopping
96 I do enjoy decorating though
97 I know how to change tires, oil, oil filters, air filters, and how to clean and gap spark plugs or replace them
98 I would rather have someone else do it
99 I don't have a visble birthmark
------
Also discovered,
Susie shares my left handedness (sign of real genius),
Schnoodlepooh shares my feelings about zoos and dressing up,
Mrs.Weirsdo is also clumsy, Thursday-born, read-a-lot lefty who needs time to herself, has a son around 8-9, and is happily married. Clearly she is a kindred spirit.
Damasta shares my love of the Magic 8 ball and
Breazy shares my middle child syndrome.
Comments on the post also revealed that the Idiot likes David Sedaris as much as I do,
I frighten Grunt just a little bit,
Egan thinks I am a liar and Babyjewels can see up his skirt ( he has a cute pink thong).

Golly, isn't blogging fun??

A quiz and an anecdote

Last week the Idiot took first place in the quiz, with 80.
Doug and Minka tied for second at 70.
Congrats, and thanks to everyone who played along.

Now I shall tell you a story and give you a link to this week's quiz.

Thing Two has started playing baseball. He is on a coach-pitch team and his dad., Mr. Logo, is the coach.
The league has decreed that each of these little ones must have an athletic cup, or as one young gentleman refers to it, "I got my nut cup!" It has been a fascinating adventure. One mother arrived at practice with a Tupperware drinking cup for her son. I wa slightly ahead on that one, I took Thing Two to the sports department of a local store to purchase his. After getting it we headed off to the ball field. When we arrived at practice he requested my assistance with fitting the new equipment to...his equipment.
I slipped it down his jeans and sent him off. He began doing the something-is-wrong-in-my-pants walk. Then he turned around and yelled, "Mom, I can't even walk like this! Something's not right."
Sure enough, his mother had put his cup on upside down
(well, based on the shape I thought that was how it was SUPPOSE to go).
He finally got it sorted out and I advised him, in the future, to refer penis related question to the parent with matching equipment.

OK, you survived the story, here's the quiz!

This is what you get...

when you encourage me. Perhaps you will all learn your lesson about this.
Here is the story:
Gong gong allo there lived a gritty pearl.
She was married to a man who was going through a "let's move to Montana" phase. She was taking a writing class at the time and used her huband's unseemly affection for Montana as inspiration for a poem.

The works of Christopher Marlowe and Ogden Nash, as featured on Friday, were clearly an influence on this piece. Unfortunately I could not find the original but a few of you were kind, or foolish, or brave enough to say I should rewrite it, so I have, including what I could recall and extrapolating the rest. Here is my version.

The Isolationist To His Love

Come live with me and be my love
And we will all the pleasures prove
That Montana wilds can provide us
Quiet living and a log cabin palace.

I've seen the beauty of a simpler life
No commuting or crowds, freedom from strife
Self-sufficiency and home grown food
Don't roll your eyes, its all in the attitude.

There may not be beaches, but there's mountains galore
And after a while you won't mind anymore
It's true that the snow may cause distress
Especially when blocking our points of egress.

I know you won't find malls stocked with Clinique
But skin care won't matter to the ranchers and sheep.
There's hunting and fishing, which I know you don't do
But if you look hard enough you'll find things you'll like too.

Let's move to the land of the wide open sky
Give me your hand, dear, and make your reply
If these pleasures your mind may move
Then live with me, and be my love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And just so you can understand my resistance to that idea, here is a typical view from my part of the world.

Happy whatever you are celebrating.

Here in the great Northwest we celebrate spring in serious style. These are the tulip fields of the Skagit Valley.

Quite gorgeous but you should not come visit unless you park and take a bus, because all the annoying flower gawkers get on my nerves when I am on my way to my mom and dad's house.

Here is a Seder plate, showing elements that remind the observant of various aspects of history.

A joyous Passover, next year in Jerusalem.

Happy Easter!
If your eggs look this good, I want to see pictures.
Lastly, here is an opportunity for you all to have a turn with a hunt.

Can you find the cottontail rabbit in this picture?

potpourri

Here are some random things I have recently accumulated.















We do this, you know you do it too!


The solution to the Arab crisis.










This is the Japanese character for Desire I think it is pretty


































I found this pic without an artist credit or a title, I would love to know who did it, if anyone can point me the right way, I would appreciate it. Thanks

Lastly, we have this touching little card I would like to dedicate to Mr. Logo

April is for Poetry and stuff

Although Minka is headed for Germany and may not see this I wanted to post these two poems, and hopefully she will understand why I think Ogden Nash needs a read, or four or five.

The Passionate Shepherd to His Love by Christopher Marlowe

Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods or steepy mountain yields.
And we will sit upon the rocks,
Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,
By shallow rivers to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals.
And I will make thee beds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies,
A cap of flowers, and a kirtle
Embroidered all with leaves of myrtle;
A gown made of the finest wool
Which from our pretty lambs we pull;
Fair lined slippers for the cold,
With buckles of th purest gold;
A belt of straw and ivy buds,
With coral clasps and amber studs:
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Come live with me and be my love.
The shepherds' swains shall dance and sing
For thy delight each May morning:
If these delights thy mind may move,
Then live with me and be my love.

And for a 20th century update we have the Ogden Nash version

Love under the Republicans (Or Democrats)


Come live with me and be my love
And we will all the pleasures prove
Of a marriage conducted with economy
In the Twentieth Century Anno Donomy.
We’ll live in a dear little walk-up flat
With practically room to swing a cat
And a potted cactus to give it hauteur
And a bathtub equipped with dark brown water.
We’ll eat, without undue discouragement,
Foods low in cost but high in nouragement
And quaff with pleasure, while chatting wittily,
The peculiar wine of Little Italy.
We’ll remind each other it’s smart to be thrifty
And buy our clothes for something-fifty.
We’ll bus for miles on holidays
For seas at depressing matinees,
And every Sunday we’ll have a lark
And take a walk in Central Park.
And one of these days not too remote
You’ll probably up and cut my throat.

If you prefer your lit short and to the point, check out 55 Fiction.

Happy FKT~ The sins of the parents

WARNING:

the following scenes may disturb you!

Yesterday I was caught in the following act, probably due to the BAD COMPANIONS I have been keeping.

Sadly, as is always the case, the children bear the brunt of the foolish choices of the parents. Here we see Thing One engaging in the blantant theft of Legos. Shocking isn't it?

I am sure after we have spent his college fund getting therapy for both of us we will fully recover, although donations are being accepted.

Fun times

Images from an outing in Fremont. Here are Things developing an understanding of art and geo-politics.

Another friend
told me about a great pitstop in the neighborhood, Simply Desserts.

The Things and I enjoyed the treats and the espresso a great deal. Good tip!!

And here you see the things with the famous Fremont Troll.

Art can be fun!

Tuesday Quiz

OK, so I put together a quiz this week, and the quiz site cooperated with me and everything!!
So here ya go!
Last time I posted a quiz I said,
"No googling, and keep your stick on the ice."
Inquiry was made into the whole ice/stick thing.
It's a hockey term, ask a Canadian or someone from Michigan for detailed info. Basically for ease of explanation, it means roughly the same thing as "keep your eyes on the ball."
Not exactly, as it helps with balance too as well as being ready but you get the idea.
Hockey buffs~ feel free to clarify and enlarge that definition, please.
ANYWAY, I was wishing you well on the quiz!
Have a terrific Tuesday.

Have you met this guy?

We went to the library Friday afternoon, arrived at 5:05. The parking lot was deserted, the lights were off.
Thing One and I were disappointed at these obvious signs that the library was already closed. We could return the books that were due but our fresh stack of reading material was going to have to wait. I went to deposit our books in the afterhour drop when a man came screeching to a halt in the handicap parking spot and sprinted past me, running for the door. He tried the door, which was locked. I started putting books in the drop slot. He cupped his hands to glass, verified the building was empty, read the library hours placard aloud, cussed, then tried the doors AGAIN. Harder. Repeatedly.
Hello, dimwit! What are you gonna do, break into the public library?? What is that about?
I wish this was an isolated incident, but of course it is not. I am sure you have met this man or one of the interchangeable and ubiquitous members of his secret society of annoying stupid people.
Perhaps, if you are very brave, you will admit to having once engaged in their obscene rituals (for scientific or research purposes only, I am sure).
Have a story?
Come on, share it with us!
Mondays always feel better once you've made sport for your neighbor, and laughed at them in your turn.

Ever feel like just being silly?

Yes, but do you have the legs for it?

Goose Rock

Here are the Things on Goose Rock, at Deception Pass. This is a mini-mountain very near the bridge that connects Whidbey Island to Fidalgo Island, which is connected to the mainland by another couple bridges. They are standing by a Madrona tree. Most trees have expandable bark to accomodate new growth, Madrona tree bark peels off in curly strips.
They are lovely and unusual but a real pain to have to clean up after. This one is in a state park, so we can enjoy it without worrying about the clean up.

This is a picture of a more recent hike.

The trail is steep in places but there are nice spots to take a rest.

Here are the Things and their cousin almost to the top and already looking pleased with themselves.