Sunday, April 30, 2006

A recipe for you all

I have something everyone wants,
the perfect recipe.
It never fails, never.
And I, due to my generous nature, am willing to to share it with you.
I am a giver.
You have paper?
You have a pencil?
Printer at the ready?
Here we go!
Recipe for Disaster
Take one situation
add Logo
Mix vigorously
I sense some may doubt, so let me tell you about a couple things that have happened in the last twenty-four hours.
I went for a ride with Thing One on the Harley. We stopped to get gas.
The Harley has a locking gas cap that hates me. It would not open.

I called on my cell phone to get instructions, I was told to do what I had already BEEN doing. Moments before my head imploded the stupid thing finally came loose. Then we got to the bakery late so we ended up going somewhere else, where the service was S-L-O-W and we got to the library 5 minutes after they closed.


Today I went to the gas station to get gas for my new mower.

I pulled up and went in to pay the nice lil old lady. After she managed to figure out how to ring me up I went out to get the gas can from the mom-mobile and THEN I attempted to unscrew the lid. It had evidently been superglued in place. I made sure the vents were open and tried again, nothing. I asked the guy pumping gas across from me for help, he couldn't get it open either. Just then my cell phone rang so I politely inquired as to which power tool had been used to secure the cap. After another eon of struggling with the *&#%ing thing another nice man came over and offered to help. He finally got it open and with many thanks and a sigh of relief I turned to the pump which was no longer willing to give me any gas. I went BACK into the station where the LOVELY woman finally figured it out. Twenty minutes to fill a gas can, does that seem excessive to anyone ELSE?


NEXT, I went to the store, where the stack of shopping baskets by the door attempted to befuddle and intimidate me. I finally got one and despite having nearly clocked some guy with it when it finally sprang loose I carried on with my shopping.

Card machines are prejudice against me. For some reason, despite the fact I use a DEBIT card it will only run as a CREDIT card. It says on the front of it "Debit Card" so I am constantly having to debate the point with clerks. I do so love that.


So, finally, I got my groceries bagged and headed for the door.

As I walked toward the sliding glass doors suddenly the grocery bag in my left hand got much lighter.

The edge of the box of bin liners had slit the bag and my box of liners and my carton of eggs were now lying on the floor.


Oh no, thank YOU!

There was a very nice managerial person who fetched me a new bag and a fresh carton of eggs and they sent me on my way with many apologies. In a way this merely reinforced my inclination to bring my canvas shopping bags with me to the store but on the other hand. I can't help but think perhaps there is a cosmic plot.

Last week, same thing.

While attempting to put gas in the motorcycles on a family ride, my pump wouldn't work...

until Mr Logo came along and then it worked fine.

I would worry about my karma but it isn't ever people. People are wonderful to me. It is just the stupid fricking inanimate objects. Maybe in a previous life I ignored a queaky wheel.


Egan said...

Wow, shall I share what happened in my last 24 hours or not? I will not share since it will only add to your misery. I hope things are currently going much better Logo. Aloha from Maui!

Candace said...

Holy cow, Logo! Are you vying for Flat Accident Guy's job or something? (scroll way down)

60 and counting said...

Probably in a former life, you were a squeaky wheel.

The Grunt said...

I've got a few of those recipes, myself. I think that gas caps are evil and they are out to get you, Logo.

snavy said...

I hear ya sista!!!

Fred said...

Wow, what a mess! I hope the weekend is going better for you!

logo™ said...

Egan~ Thanks, I appreciate your sympathy, aloha.

Candace~ Yes, I am not-so-very-flat-accident-girl. I am a poor distant relative and much less well known.

60~ Oh man, that means I am repeating that part of the cycle.
And welcome!

Grunt~ They are, I just know it.

Snavy~ Thanks, I knew I could count on you to get my back.

Fred~ Thanks, I am going to mow my lawn next, if new exciting adventures occur I shall update you all.

lime said...

ya just gotta hate when the universe conspires against ya like that

Sar said...

One of the few perks of living in NJ - they unscrew your gas caps and gas containers and fill'er up for you. No self serve allowed.

Hopefully in the balanced scheme of things you have a kickass week ahead.

logo said...

Lime~ I know!!

Sar~ Oregon is like that too, if I could get there on a tank of gas I would fill up THERE!

Melliferous Pants said...

I am well acquainted with the recipe for disaster. Story of my messy life...

logo™ said...

Pants~ So are you the entree and I am the appetizer? Or am I the entree and you are the dessert course?
And thank goodness for the blogland potluck, where we can all sample a little of each recipe, eh?

Melliferous Pants said...

I'm not sure which course I am but I'm definitely an all you can eat buffet.

logo™ said...

Pants~ Ah yes, same here, "Gather 'round folks, there's plenty to go around!!"