Thursday, May 11, 2006

Pictures to follow if blogger cooperates later.

As I was mowing my lawn today, making intersecting zigzag patterns, I was thinking about my poor huband.
He is the reason I was mowing in such an interesting configuration. Perhaps I should explain.
You see, I consider it part of my cosmic commission to demonstrate that the whole duty of man is NOT to disprove the second law of thermodynamics (everything tends to disorder). He does not share this point of view.
Shortly after we were married Julia Roberts starred in Sleeping With the Enemy. When straight, even lines of cans with labels facing forward alerted her to the presence of her psychotic husband I am aftraid unflattering parellels may have been made.
It does me no credit to admit that even today I recall without shame the positive glee with which I harrassed him about that, for a very long time.
I have mentioned in the past that I now close cabinets doors for him, I put my shoes in the closet rather than just off to the side somewhere, I open the blinds to exactly the same height and close my dresser drawers ALL the way...most of time.
But, it is not in my nature to surrender entirely.
I recall one evening, when he inquired as to why the sheets I had put on the bed were not a complete set. I explained these were the ones that had been on top, not to mention, contrasting sheets are more interesting.
But why, he inquired in a pained tone, did we have to have a single pillow case from each set?
These are the questions that plague him, and in living with me, they plague him often. Can't we throw that away? Why can't that or this or the other thing be put away? I typically have what I consider to be a perfectly reasonable explanation that seems to cause some sort of strange throbbing in his temple or trigger a need for deep breathing exercises.
So we return to the topic of the lawn, which he prefers to have mowed in large even rectangles. I can't imagine anything more boring. Everyone does THAT! So I tend to do the mowing in a more free flowing pattern form. It is a credit to his perverserance, or a sign of how far into exhaustion I have driven him, that when he noticed the lastest pattern in our yard he merely sighed heavily and asked if I really HAD to do that.
I admitted I didn't but that I did really enjoy it.
"Fine," he said with a resigned sigh, "Have fun."
He loves me, he really loves me!!


Hey, I am a guest poster over at Belle of the Brawl, check it out!

27 comments:

goldennib said...

Very funny. It is amazing what one will suffer for love.

lime said...

you are indeed a pot stirrer are you not? LOL

Kat said...

That's cute! It sounds like you two compliment each other well. :)

snavy said...

Aside for the mowing thing, I think I may have married you!! Tell Mr. Logo that I feel his pain.

Jodes said...

i agree with Lime.

Logophile said...

Goldennib~ I know! Can you believe all I endure?? Or did you mean him?

Lime~ That is a possiblility, we are still investigating the matter.

Kat~ Thanks, nearly sixteen years into this we have managed to achieve a form of balance, mostly.

Snavy~ He feels validated now, thanks. You Type As stick together.

Jodes~ You may be right :p

The Village Idiot said...

The Bane of my Existence....dirt swept into a nice pile, and left in the middle of the floor while the dust pan is sitting on the air hockey table

The Grunt said...

You're a bit mean to him, don't you think? Hee-hee! Freestyle lawn mowing? That's classic.

Seamus said...

ROTFLMAO - oh the plight of the linear meeting the free-former! ;)

Logophile said...

Idiot~ oooooooo, you have an air hockey table?! I am so jealous, I am going over, right now! I love air hockey! Don't let a lil pile of dirt get you down, man. Just remember, growing up in ultra clean conditions is one of the causes of asthma, so really, it is for your children's benefit.

Grunt~ Nah, I am not mean to him, I am helping him, imagine how dull his life would be without me.

Seamus~ And the plight of the free-former when encountering the linear, let us not forget! Poor man, he blames his hair loss on me, perhaps not without cause.

vera said...

Logo,
Have I told you lately that YOU METAL!!! (I prefer metal to rock.)

So yah, when I was in university I had this roommate who was positively OCD about her linen closet shelf. Every towel was folded the *exact* same way and facing the *exact* same way and they were stacked lightest to darkest. This was in contrast to my own chaotic shelf, not completely devoid of organization, just it was *my* organization. Me, being my usual evil self, whenever I was in the linen closet grabbing something would have an uncontrollable urge to move a face cloth in with the hand towels; turn or dishevel a few of her neatly folded ones and of course, rearrage the colour scheme! I know, it was quite mean on my part, but I hope I managed to show her that the world wasn't going to end if things WERE a bit more... "free-styling".
V

The Village Idiot said...

Mr Logo....

I am sooo sorry

Breazy said...

Mr. Breazy is the one that annoys me but I knew he was that way when I married him and visa versa ! hehe. I am the obsessed one in this home but I am working on it . Happy HNT!

robmcj said...

LOL!

My partner likes to leave lids of bottles and jars only just screwed on about half a millimetre, so when the next person uses them the lid falls off and the contents spill out. You'd probably get on well with her.

HHNT?

Melliferous Pants said...

The last time I was at Target they had "Sleeping With the Enemy" for sale in the comedy section.

barefoot_mistress said...

I like to walk by Ratburns desk and unparallel his books and papers, and roll his pens all diagonally...he cannot stand this.
I also often leave my flannels or sweatshirt on the back of the kitchen chairs...he doesn't like that either! LOL

HEE HEE Just wait til I come up there, Logo, a couple of cocktails and then we'll mow that lawn! :D

Minka said...

Logo, I am just like him and I love you too. You are sweet and quirky but if my bedquilt is in the wrong alignment I will turn it!
But I would never expect my livingpartner to worry about these things. If it bothers me, I will do it. If I donæt and he doe sit different...well, I should have done it myslef in teh first palce!
So just be quirky...he probbaly gets a kick out of it and wonders what pattern it will be next time. When he thinks of you he probably smiles:)

Logophile said...

Breazy~ Yes, he knew what he was getting into, poor man.

Robmcj~ She sounds lovely, you must be very fond of her. Undoubtedly quite charming.

Pants~ We all laugh at different things but hey, who doesn't get a chuckle at stalking psychopaths?

Susie~ Poor Ratburn, he suffers as much as Mr. Logo, tee hee. I keep all the grass neatly edged and groomed just the way we like it, but we are definitely on for cocktails!

Minka~ Awwww, mwah! Thanks, I am awfully fond of you detail people. He has certain things he always does himself for that reason (wanting it done HIS way) including ironing MY clothes
:p We get on well at this point, the early negotiations were tough sometimes but now we both tend to handle it with a shrug and a smile.

Egan said...

I'm totally with you on this one. Big rectangles are really boring in a lawn. Have fun with it and live a little. Make spaceships or something.

West of the Sun said...

Once upon a time I lived with a boy. One day, we decided to do some much needed house-cleaning. He caught me mopping the dining room floor apparently just aiming the mop wherever I felt like it and just making sure everything eventually got mopped. He proceeded to show me the proper way to mop, making perfect little squares.

I didn't realize this bothered him so much until one day he told me he'd actually talked to his therapist about my crazy, non squared mopping.

It turned into a huge joke between us. I can feel you.

Logophile said...

Egan~ ooooo, spaceships, good idea!

WOTS~ That sounds like my man, oh yes it does. We can usually laugh about these things...usually
(snicker snicker)

Candace said...

That's funny cuz I was freestyle mowing just a few days ago. Big, crazy swoops and figure 8s - partly in an attempt to get around the sandbox, trampoline, climbing cube and well head, but partly cuz it was just FUN! And I've been wanting to see Sleeping With the Enemy again lately.

Fortunately for me AND him, my dh is just as much as Messy as I am. Butmy sis lives with a friend who is borderline OCD and she loves to mess with him. :-)

Logophile said...

Candace~ I love your sis! We have things to mow around too, so why be boring, right?
And I am campaigning for a trampoline.

weirsdo said...

Congratulations, Logo. I believe you too may be a "God, woman!" (or "God-Woman," as I hear it).
Robmcj: My husband does that, but I still don't call him a God-Man, even after that time I shook the salad dressing and it went in my hair and all over the kitchen.

logo™ said...

Vera~ I missed your comment, and after you shared a story even!
I suck!! That is some classic stuff there.

Weirsdo~ He doesn't actually say that, but I think I have most of the essential qualities.

Kyahgirl said...

I like making big diagonal stripes with the tractor (2 acre lawn).

I probably waste a lot of gas getting it quite right but its one of my few creative outlets!

Logophile said...

Kyahgirl~ Yup, I mow just over 2 myself, so I know just what you mean. Art is important though, carry on!