Thursday, November 30, 2006

By the power of greyskull...

I have THE POWER!!

I like electricity.
4 days without power in the snow have reminded me how much I really, really, really like having power.
Oh, and the snow belongs in the fricking mountains!!

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Normal is a highly subjective term.

The other day while I was standing in the kitchen I received a call on my cell phone.
I answered the phone and heard a deep voice with a vaguely English accent saying,
"You're a maaaaaaarshmallow."
It was Thing One calling from the extension.
This may seem an odd term of endearment, and odd behavior, to some of you, but that just means it fits in around here.

A couple years ago I was sitting with a friend when Thing Two came running to me,
"Mom, he stole my love penny!"
My friend looked very puzzled, "Love penny??"
This required a historical background.
When Thing One was very small and would ask for money I would usually give him a penny,
"Alright, here, you can have this just because I love you."
Occasionally he would give me a penny for the same reason.
These came to be called love pennies. Nowadays, what with inflation and all, I occasionally get love nickels.
The theft of any money is a heinous crime, but to take a child's love penny seems especially egregious.
I actually have a love nickel sitting beside my computer monitor right now.
It's very reassuring, I am loved AND if I have a desperate need for a gumball, I am set.

Love can be shown all kinds of ways, and gloves are one of the best.
I hate having cold hands.
I've generally pretty warm blooded. I run around in a sweater when friends are in coats and I am just fine.
But I hate it when my hands are cold.
I don't care if I have doors held open for me.
I don't even notice if I end up walking on the traffic side of the sidewalk,
but gloves, now that will capture my little heart.
I received an absolutely fabulous pair of gloves from Mr. Logo when we were living in Italy.
They were picked right out of my pocket on a bus in Rome.
That was very upsetting to me.
But I digress.
The other thing I wanted to mention is...
on Friday I received something that made me feel quite loved.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

In which we learn how much Logo loves coffee.

Several weeks ago I ran up a flight of stairs to a classroom with all the equipment I needed to teach; an enormous bag loaded with notebooks, textbooks, grapevine wreath crowns (it was a class about Ancient Greece and the Olympics), etc. etc etc.and a cup of coffee. Just as I got to the top of the stairs the edge of the bag caught on a step, my balance shifted, my foot hit the top step instead of clearing it and I went flying. As I sprawled across the landing I managed to break my fall on my elbows and knees in such a manner that I avoiding spilling my coffee, a feat of remarkable, if foolish, prowess.
Due to little incident where I walked out in front of a moving car quite some years ago my knees are hardly in good shape to start with and these sorts of shenanigans do not help. Weeks of babying the joint had paid off and it was feeling much better.
Today, courtesy of a turkey grease spill, I managed to pull a similar maneuver in my kitchen with a freshly made latte in a mug from Italy. The mug survived the fall without so much as a bump. Half the coffee unfortunately ended up splattered all over the walls, the window, the ceiling, the fridge, the counters, and on me. The other half stayed in the mug and was delicious.
I did not fare as well, though it was nothing that being waited on and medication couldn't handle.
Happy T day to you!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

I have a friend

(yes, possibly moreso than I am)
She sent me this mug.
And this is what I did to it.

Its on its way back to her.
Hope she likes it!

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Buona Domenica!

Alright, so its been nearly a week since I updated my blog, and I thought a nice recycled idea would JUST fit the bill. I found the following quite amusing and shared it with a couple of people who thought it was too. So now I am going to post it and hope I don't bore you all silly with it.
The following is a man's explanation of why he thinks the "Women are complex, men are simple" thing is completely off base.
Men are extremely complex. The area we are most complex is in the interaction with women. This is because we:
1. Know what we what,
2. We know you know what we want,
3. We also know it is much better than sweet corn (this is an in-joke).
We have usually built up a fairly decent amount of data as to how women will react to certain things. At any time where a response on our part is expected we immediately plug the possible responses into our data matrix and calculate how that will affect the probability of us getting what we want. Then we also calculate how that response will affect the woman's expectations in the future and the resulting effort on our part it will take to meet those expectations. At this point we have to take into account our willingness to extend that effort and the ability to change to the point we can meet those expectations.
So now we have a three variable polynomial. However you must realize that this is derived from empirical data and is not an absolute formula. Therefore the situation could be looked at as just another experiment to gather data which will be used for future decisions.
There are, of course, other terms that we must take into consideration. We know that timing and the immediate past are very important to the calculation. An improper response can destroy all the effort we had put in previous to this moment.
I'm still at a loss to explain this fact, but then I'm not a woman.
Now I could go on, but explicating the rest of the variables would be tedious and they are of less importance, and frankly men often discard them in the interest of time. We know that we have to reply after it seems we have considered the issue (which I think I have proved that we do, just not the way women might think) but before the point a woman gets annoyed and thinks that the man has been ignoring her.
This is an amazing feat of number crunching even disregarding the data collection that has gone on in the past. Only after this analysis do we give the response which we think maximizes the probability and at the same time minimizes our effort.
So I think that you can't say that men are simple by any stretch of the imagination. It just surprises me given the tremendous effort that goes into each response we give that we are so often wrong.

Note: all people who are sticklers for mathematical rigor should not read further.
First the formula then the explanation.
P(Sigma Epsilon Chi) = 1 - [(A/X) + (B/X^2) + (C/X^3) + ... + (N/X^n)]
While not specifically statedin the original description arose what men are really calculating is a probability.
Therefore we have the standard probability formula of the form P=1-Y. The choice of Sigma Epsilon Chi as what we are calculating the probability of should be obvious. There are limits placed on this formula. As the probability of anything cannot be more than one or less than zero (given standard definitions) therefore the variable term must be bounded by one and zero. This leads to the limitation of X, which is the actual variable in the equation, to be greater or equal to one. The terms A, B, C, up to N are constants. All the constants are in fact derived from previous encounters. These have a fair degree of stability.I have defined A as the inverse probability of Sigma Epsilon Chi for a certain response determined in the past. In other words there is a probability of Sigma Epsilon Chi for "yes dear", "I love you", and "get back in the kitchen and make me some pie". The greater the probability for Sigma Epsilon Chi given a particular response must be subtracted from one to arrive at A. Therefore a response with a large probability would decrease the A/X term and maximize the probability for Sigma Epsilon Chi if all other terms are held constant.The B term is defined as the delta of future expectations. While at first glance this would seem to have nothing to do with the probability of Sigma Epsilon Chi it actually does influence it. Men know that women always want to raise the bar even if they are continually disappointed with their effectiveness at doing so. So if a given response would seem to raise the bar for future romantic efforts it increases the probability of Sigma Epsilon Chi. Men want to hold this bar down (see explanation of the C term) so they strive to minimize the delta. Ideally the delta would be zero but the perceived delta would be very large.The C term is the total willingness and capacity to meet those future expectations when the bar is raised. In an ideal world for men they wouldn't have to do anything to achieve a probability of one for Sigma Epsilon Chi. Since this is obviously not the case effort must be expended. Men also know that they cannot over-promise for the future in order to receive Sigma Epsilon Chi unless there is no plan to be involved with the current controller of Sigma Epsilon Chi. Which I must point out is a very bad practice because it throws off the calculations of every subsequent man involved in the future with said controller.Now there are obviously N constants associated with this calculation. Since it would be tedious to catalog them all I am going to dispense with that exposition. However we are still left with the most important term in the calculation. That is X. X is an unknown. That is because it cannot be determined with certainty until after the response has been given. X is of course the woman's inclination to Sigma Epsilon Chi at a given time. This would obviously be completely unknown to the man. Men must project what this X will be for a given response. While some X's are fairly certain (the use of the B word is almost certain to drive X to near one) the higher values are very difficult to arrive at. The higher values are the ones which give the greatest probability of Sigma Epsilon Chi.At the end though the whole probability devolves to 0.5 because as we all know either it happens or it doesn't.

P.S. Here is the medical scoop, many thanks for all your prayers and well wishes.
My auntie had surgery and it seems to have gone really well.
She may not even require chemo!
We'll know more when the test results are returned in a couple days.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I am a very busy and important person!

Alright, so here's the thing.
I'm a little busy and stressed out lately,
and my blogging is suffering.
It's not that I don't love you all,
because clearly I do.

To sum up,
Mr. Logo has just accepted a new job, yay!
My mom's breast cancer has re-occurred, pisser.
My aunt was diagnoses the same day with the same thing,
same breast even, sisterly solidarity I guess.
We are hosting Thanksgiving here.
I have school stuff to do,
and this and that,
and I can't find my overdue library book.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

In which we learn that Thing Two has MAD skillz

Here we see the younger of the Things taking a moment from eating his dinner to display a newly mastered and obviously important and difficult skill.
Don't be jealous, if you work really hard you too could be this good.
Though you may never be this cute, sorry, that's just the way it goes,
deal with it.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Friday, November 10, 2006

My friend Lime

sent me a present!! I love me some tea!

It is the perfect treat for fall days.
Here is a little visitor who came to see us recently.It reminded me of Still Life With Woodpecker.

In other news,

Mr. Logo is definitely not into wearing this shirt.However, The Things were happy to try it a la Snavletts.Look for the third act, appearing soon at a blog near you!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Reading other people's mail

We've been a little busy lately. One of the results of this is that the Tooth Fairy was very slow in responding to the lost tooth of the elder Thing. He received the following in the mail.
Dear Thing One,

We have been notified regarding the delay in your receipt of honorarium for your most recent lost tooth. Please accept our apologies. Recent disruptions in service are largely attributable to technology upgrades, new demands to cope with heightened national security as well as increased household security measures which are increasingly common, and changes in how transactions are handled.

The vigilance with which all air traffic is now monitored, and the stern, even extreme measures taken these days were a key factor in causing the Tooth Fairy Consortium Strike (one tooth fairy gets a wing shot off and they all get mighty huffy, let me tell you). Successful negotiations were not reached (I’m sorry, but with the tooth exchange rate at an all time low and health care costs being what they are we simply cannot afford two dwarf body guards for each fairy, its just not feasible!!) and so I would like to inform you that your services are now being provided by a new vendor. Some of our clients are being serviced by pixies and in remote areas gnomes are sub-contracting to provide all our little boys and girls the kind of quality service that has been expected for generations.

The delay in processing your case has highlighted some critical errors in the system which were promptly addressed and the computer programmer and the gnome responsible were sacked (we had to rehire them straight away as we are very short-handed but believe me, they were really scared there for a minute, the gnome even started to cry and promised to do better, of course the computer programmer was blubbering right from the beginning, but that’s to be expected).

In addition to your tooth honorarium we are enclosing a gift, a fairy kiss, please apply topically to your forehead which should serve to give you a brief sense of being affectionately regarded and should prevent chicken pox for at least 24 hours.

Thank you for your continued business,

Yours, etc.

The Fairy Queen (Tooth Division, Seattle Branch)

Monday, November 06, 2006

It's Tuesday, if you're from the US, go vote!

No matter where you're from, go vote here

Don't blame me,

I am pretty sure any objectionable music tastes, as well as any bad habits or bad taste in general are directly traceable to the Y chromosome.

Anyway, here is some music the Things are enjoying lately, and begging to watch over and over and over and over and over and over and over...

and this...

AND, this...

Do you see what I live with??
Do you see???

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Gone Daddy Gone...

We have send my little Rebel to live with some nice folks not too far from here. After listing in For Sale sections of various publications we found someone to buy it by...sticking a sign on it. The guy from Craigslist bailed when he found out how far he would have to drive to see it. Oh well, he probably was not worthy of her anyway.

The next pic is me trying out a Victory Vegas Eight Ball.
Now, I am 5'5, which I will have you know is just ever so slightly taller than average for an American woman. Nevertheless, it is not tall enough to make any Victory motorcycle work for me, the break and clutch levers are too far as well. If Arlen could get his people working on that I would really appreciate it. But really, I will admit it, I am a sucker for an automobile, be it two wheeled or four, that works well and doesn't cost a bomb and have rigorous maintainence and repair requirements. I have test ridden this next bike several times, and I really like it.
(Cue the angelic music and a focused beam of light glinting divinely off the pipes would be good too.)
This is a Yamaha V Star 1100.
The 650 is fine, but I have been infected with a touch of Tim Allen disease.
However, I solemnly vow to you this day,
as God is my witness...

this horror and tragedy will never happen on my watch.

Oh the humanity...

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

I need your help...

Mr. Logo is hesitant to model Lime's latest swap-o-rama offering.
After all, it is not like he is the sort of guy to mug for the camera,
make silly faces and engage in nonsense.

He would never wear silly hats,
or goofy sunglasses,

or generally make a fool of himself for the entertainment of others.

He clearly would never behave in any way that might be considered less than completely dignified.
Despite all that, I am hoping we can convince him to do this for us,
just this once.