Monday, October 30, 2006

In which we discuss swap~o~rama, comics, cleaning and Polish contributions to global society

I would be the first to admit this makes perfect sense in light of the whole bird flocking thingee.
Speaking of thingees and birds, two quick asides that just occurred.
1.) The Things, who've recently watched the Beatle's movie Help! have taken to repeating this dialogue,
"Look out! It's a thingee, a fiendish thingee!"
This is apparently most useful when their parents have told them to pick something up.
2.) You know how when geese fly together in a V one side is always longer than the other.
Do you know why that is?
I do.
My dad told me.
There are more geese on that side.
Moving on, I have received more swapage!
This lovely piece of... clothing comes to us from Snav who got it from Lime.
And I present it to you here to ask for your assistance.

Some poor member of my family needs to model this work of art.
Cast your votes in the comments, should it be Thing One? Thing Two?
Or that freakest of all freaques, Mr. Logo?
I ALSO received from Susie Q a lovely little mini-mag.
It is a pretty cool little comic by an extremely talented artist.
It reminded me of a gift I received not too long ago.
A very kind blogger friend purchased this comic for me, hopefully not because he thinks of me a psychopathic killer or exceptionally nerdy but merely because I am from the northwest.
As a child I was frequently read a book called The Big Tidy Up.
It is no longer in print and I am unlikely to purchase this copy.
We do have the one read to my siblings and myself, it is not in great shape but my kids have enjoyed it and we recently passed it on to the younger cousins, the esteemed elder sisters munchkins.
It is one of those stories that we requested over and over, and so have my kids,
so the majority of the book is actually committed to memory.
"Jennifer knew as well as you
That everything had its place
but she just didn't care
a whit,
a bit,
so her room was a real disgrace."
As illustrated in the picture below,
repeated readings did noting to alleviate the problems in the room of Thing Two.
However, rhyming storybooks are not the only thing in my bag of tricks,
oooooh no.
There is also cajoling, bribing, threatening, crying, screaming, and ripping out chunks of my own hair (although someone has to clean THAT up later too, so I tend to think it's not the most pratical choice).
Interestingly enough, you see the effective approach before you.
Although, I had intended it as a threat he took it as a bribe.
I said I was going to take a pic of the mess and post it.
He asked if I would take one when he was done too.

So I did.

Who am I to argue with what works?

And one last item before I stop rambling.

In addition to their contributions in the arts, sciences, and ethnic jokes

the Polish should also be recognized for their pottery.

I found this at a kitchen shop and couldn't decide if it would work with my little set below.

How cute would that tea pot be with these, eh?

Good thing I don't collect tea pots, innit?

Alright, I'm done.

Oh, for those who were interested, I transcribed the text of my magnetic poetry

Flash Fiction 55 into the comment of the post below.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

An Idea I Stole...

from Diesel.
Last time some people posted this I went and tried it.
I was told I looked like Lucille Ball and Chaka Khan's love child,
so I didn't post it.
This time around, I am sharing with you all.
After seeing the pics Tom morphed for me my parents have disavowed any responsibility for creating me,
so what the heck,
I will claim Lucilla and Chaka.

Next, so Susie Q will feel loved and appreciated here is a kinda sorta

55 Flash Fiction.

I got a magnetic poetry board which I LOVE, and I was playing with it, so here is a pic,

there are roughly 55 words there.

Don't look too closely if you are easily shocked, it's not G rated.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

MY ADD is acting up

and its late. But's been a while since I posted so I am gonna shotgun some things out there.
Try to keep up or skip to the bottom, either way, do whatever works for you.
I was mowing my lawn last week in gloves and a hat. There is something fundamentally wrong with that.
It's fall, I can tell because of what the leaves are doing, falling. On some days, there is a brisk little chill in the air. So why can't my freaking grass take a hint and lay off, eh?
I was in Oregon last week because Mr. Logo was interviewing for a job there. He has a job now, its a hold over sort of deal. We won't starve or go into foreclosure but he is definitely not feeling fulfilled. His cheese is NOT going to be located at this job. We got the "2006 What Color Is Your Parachute?" but he decided the actual reading of it demanded too much. I glanced through it and determined it was too hard to figure out what color his parachute is as I have to allow for the red and blue shifts that occur as his mood swings.
I am tutoring some high school boys in writing. I alternate between being encouraged by their occasion flashes of insight and brilliance and despair over the breadth and depth of their ignorance. How does one become 17 years old in this country and have NO idea how John Locke or Thomas Paine figure into history?
Fredrich Neitsche?
They are KILLING me!
I made them look up who said, "I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country."
I am aware I have an extensive fascination for useless trivia but come on, why the heck don't they know who wrote Moby Dick?? I am forcing them to learn about Oscar Wilde, Joseph Conrad, Ernest Hemingway, and of course Shakespeare. If I ask for an applicable literary example of something and they ask if they can cite Harry Potter just one more time.. I shall do such things, I know not what, but they shall be the terrors of the earth!
We have been watching House MD on Netflix. We are on season two and wow, its so strange to hear Bertie Wooster with an American accent, and oh mah goodness what a grumpy bum he is! A peculiarity of language has come to light though. Greg House (Hugh Laurie's character) is repeatedly referred to as "miserable," which gets rather repetition when you watch the shows back to back on DVD rather than over the course of a television network season. But I realized as I thought about it, there is not really a well-matched synonym for miserable. Once you start using other words your shade of meaning shifts, so I guess repetitious is better than straying too far from the very delicate balance they work so hard to maintain between making his character pitiable or exasperating.
I'm getting cold and sleepy now, and I want a book, a bath, a cup of tea and then my bed.
Hope your Thursday is a thoroughly thrilling one.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

OK, I'm a little late, but here...

I drove a long way yesterday, I'm tired.
I had a lovely browse through a bookstore.
I had a fabulous lunch at a deli near the bookstore.
I checked out a nice brick building just over a little way from there.
Then I drove home, arriving here at about 11PM.
My children who were staying with their aged Ps managed to have a good time and everyone suvived the experience, thank the FSM.
Now I am going to go take a nap.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Brothers, sisters, have you heard of The Flying Spaghetti Monster?

As far as religions go, I think they have the corner on the market of cool names (Pastafarians) and I love
The Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts.

I. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.

II. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.

III. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey - Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.

IV I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go Fuck Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off the TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.

V I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The Bastard.

VI I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):
· Ending Poverty
· Curing Diseases
· Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable
I Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.

VII I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?

VIII I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If the Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It's A Piece of Rubber. If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or something.

The Canadian band Barenaked Ladies, while performing at a bookstore on September 19th (TLAP day), took some time to Spread the Word of the FSM. They even signed a few copies of the Gospel. I wasn’t there, but I’m told that they were very concerned with Global Warming, and played a few pirate songs to do their part to lower the temperature. Clearly true Pastafarians. In fact, lead guitarist Ed Robertson posted on the band’s official blog: "This is so excellent. I am speechless. I’m a believer".
(from the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster website)
I ask you, is this not about the best religion you've EVER heard of??
These pics were e-mailed to me, I have no idea who took them, but I thought they were fun.
One of the upsides of fall

Unfortunately, it is also the end of the cycle riding season, at least for me, I am a fair weather rider.
But here is how far an addict will go to feed their obsession.
I am not that obsessed yet.

Nor am I this obsessed.

Give me time.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

I'm being lazy...

not to mention my stupid quiz site was giving me trouble. So no quiz this week, hope you can survive the disappointment. I am going to go do this some more instead of continuing to fight with the internet.
But, in honor of it being a good day for trivia, please, leave everyone a little tidbit of trivia in your comment.

For example, The Pike Place Pig is named Rachel after a pig that won the Island County Fair in 1985.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

The poll, part II

I got a present from Just Tom,
a visual aid.
Unfortunately I left for the weekend before it arrived and couldn't post it to help you all with your poll.

Now what do you think?

Friday, October 13, 2006

55 and an opinion poll

The patient squirmed uncomfortably on the hard surface, as her attending physicians poked and prodded at her. She did not understand why they couldn't just leave her alone, all she really needed was rest. A break from the relentless attention being paid her whether she welcomed it or not. "Mom, come take a picture, quick!"

The Things are being doctors this year and they felt the need to practice a little, so here is the evidence of what they do to the poor dog. She was amply rewarded though.
Next, we have an opinion poll.
I have posted a pic of both my aged Ps, as detailed a head shot as I could find.
Whatcha think?
Do I look like my dad or my mom?

Thursday, October 12, 2006

What the dog's been up to

Ariella's fanS (there, Snavy) have been inquiring,
so I thought it was time for an update.
Between lounging and napping
she manages to squeeze in some play time.
She loves it when we put treats in this ball,
hours of entertainment.

I have finally found a way to get her to play ball!

Thing Two has been camera shy lately but was finally in the mood for a pic.

So here he is, modelling the towel robe his gramma made him.Stylin'

P.S. Go wish Lime a Happy Birthday, would ya?

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

It's TUESDAY again!

Are you ready for a lil trivia?
Ok, first,
Last week Neva and Idiot tied at 80, w00t.
At 70 we have VERA, way to go, girl.
Tied at 60 are Lime and Susie's clever cat, Oaty.
Next we see Thing One and Thing Two
enjoying the fruits of their NOT being a pain in the ass throughout a long day on the road.
I believe in rewarding positive behavior.
Alternately, I am, in the words of Mr. Logo, a "SPOILER!"
You say potato, I say patata (that's Italian).
Now here is THIS WEEK'S QUIZ.
For those of you who want to read a little more,
here is a fascinating little transformation that occurred.
See here, behind Thing Two, the monolithic structure holding the TV?
Now, see what Mr. Logo did to it?
Is that not nifty??
He used the bits and pieces of the armoire to make this stand.

It's so much cuter!

I am pleased. I will keep him around a while longer, he is sooo handy!

Sunday, October 08, 2006

The kind of ninja you'd like to have over.

Evidently original ideas are too hard, so here is another I stole from
my friend Susie who has a new shirt folding obsession.
She accused me of not being able to figure out how to fold shirts.
Be that as it may,
I don't NEED to master it.
Because I have...
The shirt folding ninja!

Services comes complete with cool martial art noises.

And nifty poses are no extra charge!
Call today to arrange your visit!

Saturday, October 07, 2006

My crazy, creative girlfriend

Susie LOVES miniature stuff. For Swap~o~rama I sent her some minis that had been sitting in a drawer here.
She decided to use them to make an online craft project for us to share! She has a cute lil dollhouse she made for herself in a woodworking class, and had the paint mixed to match one of her favorite spots in India
(See her last HNT for more precise details) and THEN she told me to send a pic of me with the tea tray I made, which I did...

and then she put it together like this!

Then our buddy BS decided to join us, which sounded great to us!!

Anyone else care to join our very little party?

Susie is turning out to be quite the master photo chopper, isn't she?

Friday, October 06, 2006

These are my scissors.
We have right handed sewing scissors.
We have right handed barber scissors.
We have right handed craft scissors.
We have right handed kitchen scissors.
We have right handed cuticle scissors.
I have ONE (1) pair of left handed scissors.
I am the only left handed member of my family.

Most scissors are best suited to use with the right hand, but left handed
scissors are designed for use by the left. Left handed scissors obviously have
handles which are comfortable to hold in the left hand, but they have other
differences, more subtle yet equally important. Because scissors have
overlapping blades, they are not symmetric. This asymmetry is true regardless of
the orientation and the shape of the handles: the blade that is on top always
forms the same diagonal regardless of orientation. Human hands are also
asymmetric and worse, when closing the thumb and fingers do not close
vertically, but have a lateral component to the motion. Specifically, the thumb
pushes out and fingers pull inwards. For right-handed scissors held in the right
hand, the thumb blade is closer to the body so that the natural tendency of the
right hand is to force the cutting blades together. Conversely, if right-handed
scissors are held in the left hand, the natural tendency of the left hand would
be to force the cutting blades laterally apart. Furthermore, with right-handed
scissors held by the right-hand, the shearing edge is visible. When used with
the left hand, the cutting edge of the scissors would be behind the top blade,
and one cannot see what is being cut. Using scissors designed for the wrong hand
is very difficult for most people. They have to unnaturally force the blades
together to cut and stretch their necks over the top blade to see what is being
cut. This unnatural motion can also cause marks on the hand, sores, and
eventually calluses.

So you see, being the giver that I am,
I am just trying to prevent them from getting marks, sores, and calluses.
I just wish THEY would return the favor, and my scissors
This is just one more small challenge I face as a lefty in a right handed world.
From being accused of being satan worshippers specifically, and being sinister in general, to being used as a description of clumsy, immoral, or sloppy we southpaws have NOT ever had it easy.
Now, it is true that these days we can buy a watch, a computer mouse, a corkscrew, or a pair of scissors designed just for the left handed individual, if we're willing to look high and how for them and pay twice as much.
Anyway, I will desist with this closing quote.
Reason is our soul's left hand; faith her right. By these we reach divinity,
John Donne, to the Countess of Bedford

Thursday, October 05, 2006

A stray thought

Can you miss something you still have?
Here is part of a poem I wrote and lost, and this is all I can remember...
Never mind, it's probably just the Niquil talking.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

FIRST order of business,
I am the guest today at
Come over and tell me I don't suck.
it would really mean alot to me.
I was tagged...
Actually, this tag is nearly a month old and I am a TERRIBLE internet twin for not doing it earlier.
So, here's to hoping kyahgirl will overlook the lapse.
Books, books, books
(I can't do exclusivity, only one choice is too hard!!
So, here is my list, even if I didn't follow directions well. )

1. One book you have read more than once.

I will actually re-read all my favorites every five to ten years.
I most recently re-read Long Dark Teatime of the Soul

2. One book you would want on a desert island.

Well, depending on how far this island is from shipping lanes either The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook by Joshua Piven or, if it's a hopeless case, an enormous anthology of some sort, or the complete works of Shakespeare.

3. One book that made you laugh.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and the Dirk Gently books, oh, and The Bridget Jones books.
4. One book that made you cry.

One of the first books I can remember making me cry is the James Herriot book, All Creatures Great and Small.

5. One book I wish I had written.

(Did you notice the meme just changed from the third person? Went from you to I, I hate that! Switches back and forth from here, very annoying)
I can think of some books I wish they had let me edit, but none that I wish I had written.

6. One book you wish had never been written.

Most textbooks fit into that catagory, though there are a very select few I found extremely helpful and kept, but the majority of them seem to specialize in making even the most interesting information unbelievably dull.

7. One book I am currently reading.

Words, Words, Words, by David Crystal,
The Club Dumas by Arturo Pérez-Reverte,
Ars Poetica by Clay Reynolds
and I am re-reading A Matter of Honor, by Jeffrey Archer
Call me a multitasker or ADD, either one might fit.

8. One book I have meant to read.

Confederacy of Dunces, I've a copy on my nightstand even now but I keep reading library books instead and putting it off since there is no return date on it.

9. One book that changed your life.

Bloom County Babylon: Five Years of Basic Naughtiness by Berke Breathed
This may seem an odd choice, but my early interesting in politics, my love of penguins, and my dandelion addiction can all be traced to the time spent pouring over these pages.

10. Tagging:
I will tag only those who wish to do this list,
lemme know if you do and I will come check it out.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Congratulations to last week's winners!
The truth coalition, Neva, and Thei Idiot Consortium [sic] tied at 90!
Joel, Neva's beloved, scored an 80,
and Susie (aka Oaty) Lime and Vera tied at 70.
Wow, good job, peoples.
And now...
Candace tagged me with a Meme,
21 things I love.

(family and friends are exempt from listing, you are to assume love for them)
1 Singing, especially to my babies at bedtime, oh, or in the car by myself, at the top of my lungs
2 Motorcycle riding
3 Thai, Italian, and Mexican food, and um, several others
4 Encountering and getting to know with kindred souls
5 My lawn mower
6 Reading a great book, the kind that sucks you in and you can't wait to finish it.
7 Taking baths, especially by candle with a good book and a glass of wine
8 Good tea and coffee
9 Words and phrases that just taste good as they roll off your tongue (Kuala Lumpur)
10 Cuddling, and that other stuff too.
11 The smell of a new hardback book (I might have liked the smell of old ones but dust makes me sneezy)
12 Making my kids laugh so hard they get all red in the face and can't breathe properly, well, come on, pretty much making anyone laugh that hard is just awesome.
13 Spending time at the library or an independent bookstore, sorry, chain stores just don't have the same feel
14 Learning new things
15 Finding exactly the right word or phrase I want to explain something, and the look of dawning comprehension that tells me when I've got it right
16 Driving, preferably on twisty roads with good music and no traffic
17 Sleeping in, and breakfast in bed
18 Massages and/or spa pedicures
19 Getting glimpses of the day when my Things will be able to beat me at chess, Set, and thumbwrestling
20 Going for walk in fall
21 lavender, vanilla, and verbena, separately
I think I am getting sick, please send money or bearer bonds, anyone with a throat this sore surely deserves to spend her last few days at Disneyworld.