Monday, October 17, 2005

It's Monday?

Dear Gawd, it is. It's Monday again and Oaty is already harrassing me to post her Meow Monday guest commentary. Let me just preface her remarks with a couple definitions from the Devil's Dictionary.
CAT, n.
A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
DOG, n.
A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship. (...)The Dog is a survivor -- an anachronism. He toils not, neither does he spin, yet Solomon in all his glory never lay upon a door-mat all day ...while his master worked for the means wherewith to purchase the idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition.
Enough said.
And without further ado... here's Oaty to discuss cats in conversation.


Ariella, I will get to you later, but I have something else to say right now.
Ya know, I saw some east coast bloggers talking about it "raining cats and dogs" and that got me thinking. I'm not too happy about all these cat reference in humanoid conversations.
Take that example, "raining cats and dogs" it does NOT ever rain cats...we are not dumb enough to fall out of the sky (dogs maybe but never cats).
And how about the cat's pajama's? Sheesh, I wouldn't be caught dead in pajamas. so what's that all about?
What about "cat got your tongue?" I would never stoop so low as to touch a human tongue, those things are filthy! Blech!!!!
Now we come to, "who let the cat out of the bag?" No way no how im going to get in any bag in the first place! Thats just plain ridiculous.
And being catty? hmpfhfhfhfffh I guess if you tell the unvarnished truth you are being cat-like. Why isn't that a complement?
There are other examples, and I don't appreciate any of them. So knock it off.


The Village Idiot said...

Can you elaborate on the following Oaty...

It/You Smell Like a cathouse...

whats up with that?

snavy said...

LMAO!! A lot to think about Oaty!

Oaty said...

I do NOT smell like a cathouse...I think the correct term is "you smell like a brick shithouse", so knock it off idiot! cats smell lovely!
Love, Oaty

lime said...

oaty, you have mixed is that one is built like a brick shithouse. a cathouse is a house of ill repute, where one might find women built liek brick shithouses.

oaty, you need to chill out.
ariella, you are one very kind dog to let this angry cat out of the bag

Oaty said...

Cathouse, brickhouse, meeeef**kingyowwwww!!!!!!!!!!

Kyahgirl said...

Oaty, very interesting post. However, I am beginning to sense you might have anger issues.

Nonetheless, you are one cool cat.

The Village Idiot said...


You know i love you you brick house of a wait...

You fluffy lil cute animal

Oaty said...

I don't have anger issues, I'm a cat in a dogs blog. In that fact arises some tension! Meeyoowwwww!
Love, Oaty

Ariella said...

thank you for recognizing my forebearance. It is somewhat trying but I understand the frustration of having no forum for voicing one's concerns. Of course, some of us comport ourselves differently once such a medium has been established, but be that as it may...

barefoot_mistress said...

Dear Ariella,
I apologize for the cattitude of Oaty today. She is not happy about being ignored while her mom sews a peasant skirt for a woman with 64" hips....I will speak to her about her behavior, and warn her that she is a guest on your blog.
Love, Susie

barefoot_mistress said...

Dear Ariella,
Did I say 64" hips? Let me correct that! Her waist is 64", and her hips are 84" you can see, this has taking quite a bit of time away from Oaty today!
Love. Susie

Ariella said...

Wow, I can understand THAT!
Sounds like an interesting and demanding project, hope you are able to recover and spend some quality time with your cat who clearly misses you.

Tom & Icy said...

Woof! How disgusting to let a cat on your blog! Degrading! Woof!

Ariella said...

Thank you for seeing things from my point of view, I gotta say though, every monday the AF is awfully generous with the treats (bribes) and after all, cats are creatures too.
I don't mind as long as she minds her manners. Not much luck with that so far though.