Sunday, October 23, 2005

The thoughts of a few humans, and of course, mine.

"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."
I do alright despite a mild case of test anxiety, but I think they are talking about something truly reprehensible, not just the subjecting of pets to standardized math norms. I refer you to Night of the Mary Kay Commandos, by Berk Beathed.
"A dog is not "almost human," and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such."~ John Holmes
I think I would say John Holmes is sufficiently harsh on your race.
"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."~Woodrow Wilson
Oooooooo, listen to the president... telling you off!!
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."~Rita Rudner
OK, has Rita not seen pictures of her hair in the 80s? I have, and I question her right to say anything about poodles. And by the way, will you people stop that butt pom pom nonsense, poor poodles, I just feel bad for them, really I do.
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." ~ Robert Benchley
The importance of properly preparing ones bed space should be taught to the young just as well as sterling character traits.
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." ~ August Strindberg
ha ha ha. August, you funny funny man
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." ~James Thurber
And wouldn't that make heaven a better place anyway?
"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater. . . suggest that he wear a tail." ~ Fran Lebowitz
You people really ought to cut that out.
"Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland." ~ Josh Billings
Newfies are some big ole dogs. And the twits that went out and got one after the win at the Westminister desrve the food bills.
"I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas." - "DEEP THOUGHTS" by Jack Handy
Oh Jack, we would never go just by size, it is the size of the fight in the dog, not the size of the dog in the fight.
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." ~ Edward Abbey
I've quoted it before and I will quote it true so true
"Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends." ~ Alexander Pope
Good thing we are around to model these for you, do try to pick up on it won't you?
"Politics are not my concern... they impressed me as a dog's life without a dog's decencies." ~ Rudyard Kipling
And the very worse sort of dog's life too.
"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love.
For me they are the role model for being alive." ~ Gilda Radner
Smart funny lady, she got it right!! So here is your Sunday inspiration, go forth and be more like a dog. However, if you start grooming your personal areas in public I take no responsibility.


barefoot_mistress said...

lol Ariella!

snavy said...

Ariella - you are such a clever girl!! LOL!!

mireille said...

Ariella, you are SUCH a dog ... beauty and wit, all in one convenient fuzzy black package. xoxo, Bucky

weirsdo said...

How well read you are, Ariella. And what a card that Strindberg is ; )

lime said...

i prefer to groom privately but i think i could generate a top 10 list of ppl whose legs i'd hump publicly

bsoholic said...

LOL you are sooo funny Ariella!

Fred said...

Hehe. What a great post for me to read on a Monday!

Kyahgirl said...

I love this post Ariella, Thank you for taking the time to dig all these quotes out. I know how tedious it can be to handle books and a keyboard with paws. I hope your humans keep your feet and toenails nicely trimmed! :-)

Caspydoodle, the Standard Poodle said...

If you would care to ogle my fine physique once again, you will see that I do NOT sport one of the tail pom poms. Will you sleep with me?

*bounces joyously straight up in the air in happy poodle fashion*


Thomcat said...

hehehe - good stuff ! hehehe ... for a dog

Ariella said...

Barefoot~ thank you
Snav~ I think you are pretty darn clever too!

Bucky~ thank you *eyeflash flutter*
I like your packaging too.

Weirsdo~ There's no card like a Swedish card, although I think I like swedish fish better.

Kyahgirl~ thank you, it can be trying, but I do it all for you, my beloved blog buddies. The AF does a pretty good job with the nails, and if she ever slacks off I let her know my digging them into her at inopportune moments.
Lime~I like that idea, we will have to do that on HUMP day

BS~ thanks, man. Always pleased to amuse and enlighten

Fred~ Always start your week off right, with some canine advice

Casper~Why, you naughty forward thing *giggle*. My, what strong muscles you have!

Thomcat~ Our Meow Monday guest blogger is notoriously unreliable, perhaps you could use this opportunity to see if a cat can rise to the challenge of being as entertaining as a dog. If you think you are up to it, by all means, let me know.