Saturday, October 22, 2005

You shouldn't try to be too clever.

Here we have a prime example of the people thinking they are soooo smart.
Someone came up with this list.

Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers

20. Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
OK, come on, that is just lame.
19. Fetch command not available on all platforms.
Fetch is not a valid command on any system, who wrote this list?
18. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
Actually, it isn't. Try it.


Tee hee
Didja?
Didja just cock your head to the side to see if it was harder to read the monitor?
lol dork!

17. Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.
We only bookmark the ones worth returning to.
We save the "mark"ing for the real world

16. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
AOL is the only company that does that, and ANYONE with any sense would attack that.
15. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
Well, this is true, why would you have a fire hydrant icon? If your computer is on fire clicking silly icons ISN"T going to help!
14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.
And you think we can't tell what you've been up to? uh huh....sure, right
13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
Hey, that only happened a couple times!
12. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
No, no we are not.
11. Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging.
Just wait, we will figure this one out soon.
10. Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
I can't WAIT!! That is so gonna rock!
9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
I hear it is painful, but I haven't had any problems yet
8. 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...
Some cats are geeks, some are just difficult and annoying...and you know who you are.
7. Barking in next cubical keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
You have to admit, that would be annoying, but only applicable if you are a cube rat, and dogs are too smart for that nonsense.
6. SmellU-SmellMe(tm) still in beta test.
Oh yes, there are some exciting developments underway!
5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
They aren't difficult, they are just undesireable, and anyway, the geeks can handle the GREP and AWK ing.
4. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to manuever.
OK, child-goo is just as difficult to deal with and a great deal more prevalent.
3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.
With all the weird crap out there this can't be long in coming.
2. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.
Anyone who has spent ANY time in a chatroom would be forced to agree.

and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers...

1. TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,. *
Alright, this one is totally legit, and I confess, I do dictate most of my entries... so sue me!

13 comments:

barefoot_mistress said...

Omigod, I am blind now from that red font!!!!

Ariella said...

sorry sorry
it is blue now, is that better?

bsoholic said...

LMFAO! You tell 'em ariella!

Tom & Icy said...

You are sooooooo woofy! I'd read that list somewhere before, but it wasn't nearly as funny as on your post with your comments inserted. Fun.

weirsdo said...

I agree that was fun. Did you know Icy once tried to audiopost, and "Master" Tom just kept telling her to "Come over here and lay down."
They should have had human jealousy on the list.

barefoot_mistress said...

Nice typing Ariella.....:P

Oaty said...

Hey I could read Ariella's typing just fine without the dictating!

schnoodlepooh said...

Ariella, you are a great blog dog. Don't give up. We love your sassy comments to life!

snavy said...

LOL!! Ariella - that was very funny!!

lime said...

hahaha, i know humans who fall into the category for #1, so does bare, huh? comon, fess up bare, youand i thought the same name........

males me wonder though, does blogger use dogs to generate the word veris?

barefoot_mistress said...

Hye, my typinmh is just fine....I eont type liek taht..:P

Breazy said...

LOL! Good list and answers! :)

Thomcat said...

hehehe - i wonder if there is a similar list for why cats shouldn't use computers ...